Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Terrible Terrible Terrible Two's. Twice the fun.

We are now entering the Terrible Two's with Twins. I'm fully stocked up on wine and margarita mix.

Bring it Babies.

But today hit me hard. Just when you think you'll skip on by the typical phases of childhood and move on to something a little more quiet...they SLAM into you with the force of a head on collision, followed by the painful realization that you have an entire year of this.

Here it is. Just for you.

My Wine induced poem. Good luck reading this crap. And I have capitalized the word Wine because I hold it in high regard. It deserves to be capitalized.

Just when I least expected it
Just when I thought we were through
You snuck up behind me
Hit me like a truck
You Terrible, Terrible, Terrible Two.

One minute, as sweet as angels
The next, as loud as a shrew
I can't handle all the screaming
or the endless tantrums
You Terrible, Terrible, Terrible Two.

I have double the trouble
and a 5 year-old brat to boot
I hardly stand a chance
You may just win
You Terrible, Terrible, Terrible Two.

I can't believe I have a full year of this
This house is already a zoo
I'm not quite sure where to turn
This has to be a crazy joke
You Terrible, Terrible, Terrible Two.

There's so much crying and screaming
They even throw their own poo
I might have to be committed
at the end of this
You Terrible, Terrible, Terrible Two.

They stomp, they throw and hit
I'm not quite sure what to do
But I'm done
Pretty sure I can't quit
You Terrible, Terrible, Terrible Two.

So go ahead and do your best
Do what you need to do
I'm going to sit here
and drink my bottle of wine
You Terrible, Terrible, Terrible Two.

Hey, not too shabby after a half a glass of wine. It really doesn't take much. I feel warm.

It may be time for bed.

*I wrote this last night after a glass of wine. I am NOT drinking wine first thing in the morning. It's not THAT bad...yet.*

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