Thursday, February 28, 2013

Catch up time!

Wow. Once again, it's been a LONG time since I've posted.

But here goes:

1. I've decided that I need to start eating healthy again. Every time I decide to start eating healthy, I go crazy after 6 weeks and consume an entire pan of brownies in one sitting. Let's see how long I can make it. But I am going to cut certain things out for good. Like pop. I know...I keep saying this, and one of these days I will actually stick to it. I have cut down, like 3 cans a week, but it's not enough. I just crave bubbles every now and then, it's not the caffeine. The Crystal Light energy packets work wonderfully. I think my teeth are vibrating due to the amount of caffeine I've consumed today.

2. Time to start potty training the twins. Every time I try to start this, I freak out. Bleh. I hate this part. But I've signed them up for preschool that will start next fall and they need to be fully potty trained. Some of you are thinking, "Fully potty trained in 6 months? How hard can that be?" You've never met my children. So we are off to Target today to load up on all our "supplies". Stickers, mini- toys, poster board, and M&M's. Be ready for potty training posts.

3. I'm almost ready to open up an Etsy store with all the things I've created. Stay tuned for that one. I'm going to say 2-3 weeks...depending on how much time I spend crafting. I just checked out an entire bag of books from the library. I'm not great with time management. Plus, my Sims need me! Sims = Sims Free Play on the Ipad.

4. My last item is about ADD. I'm pretty open about who I am and try not to lie about the kind of person I am. My husband and I were doing research on ADD for my younger son, just to prepare ourselves and see what the signs were so we are ready for the future. Then my husband found signs of ADD in adults. As he read them off to me, it started off pretty funny because I met quite a few of those, but after a bit we realized that it was a definition of me. So I made an appointment to see a doctor and took my husband with me because I was a little nervous about what she would say. The appointment took a different turn than I had anticipated. I honestly thought she would say I was fine and that if I had the ADD it was easily fixed/controlled. What she said to me was this, "Before we even get to the ADD, we need to get your anxiety and OCD under control. You need to make an appointment to see a psychologist first."

Oops. My OCD? That's...but....I'm fine! I get that I have anxiety, but OCD? Crap. I'm comfortable with those issues, I'm not sure I want them "cured". It's like a warm blanket that you've carried around with you since you were young and now someones telling you that it's time to toss that blanket in the trash and move on with life.


Not happening.

I'm going to this doctors appointment, but I'm keeping my OCD.

They are going to put me on pills, aren't they?

I told my husband that I was glad he's already married to me, because I'm pretty sure that after sitting through that doctor's appointment with me (after describing to the doctor all my "issues") he really wanted to just run away.

My appointment is March 12th. Be prepared for it. Because I'm SO not ready. Part of me knows that they just want to help and help is going to be good...but the other part of me is very nervous for what could come out of this.

Anyway...that's about it. Pretty sure you are caught up on my life.

Lucky you.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

February, please go away, forever.

This month has been horrible. If this is what 2013 is going to look like, I'm going to need a fast-forward button. Stat.

I do believe I shared the fact that my Grandfather passed away at the beginning of the month. Then the kids got the stomach flu. We just found out that my Grandmother passed away yesterday and then last night was my turn for the stomach bug.

Seriously. February, I'm done with you. You and your Valentines Day can just go away. We are no longer friends.

I have quite a few posts that are rattling around in my noggin that I've been wanting to post for awhile, but with all that's been going on, I'm just glad to be moving around and not crying in the bathroom (again).

When I'm sad, sick or just depressed, I pray. And after I pray, I turn to humor. If I can make myself laugh instead of cry, then I win.

So here's my attempt at being funny: (It may be a sad attempt, but it's all I have on such short notice)

Top 10 signs you need to clean your house more often:

1. When you sweep the kitchen, you find food you don't remember cooking.

"Is that steak? We haven't had steak since last summer. And I'm pretty sure those jelly beans are from LAST Easter. I bet those are still good..."

2. You forgot what color your carpet was.

"Our carpet isn't THAT dirty." -moves couch- "Hurry! Call the carpet cleaners now, we are living in a swamp of our own filth and squalor. I'm not walking on our floor without shoes on anymore."

3. The dust on your bedside table starts moving.

"Mommy, can we keep it? I'm going to name it fluffy. I've always wanted a pet."

4. The top of your fridge is so full of clutter that you are risking your life everytime you open or close a door.

"I do NEED it all! Just don't go slamming the doors and everything will be fine. It's all perfectly balanced. If it falls, just make sure you run because I think I hid some scissors up there."

5. There's a dead spider on your bathroom wall that was squished so long ago that's it's part of the paint now.

"As long as it's dead, I don't really care. Leave it as a warning to other spiders that dare attempt to cross me."

6. The kids no longer recognize their rooms after I clean them.

"Mom? Where am I and where's all my top secret landmines I strategically placed to trip up trespassers?" Ok...he didn't say this, but I'm pretty sure he wanted to.

7. The laundry pile reproduces on it's own and, before you know it, is overflowing to the point where you fear for your life every time you walk downstairs.

"I can't do the laundry. The pile toppled over, then spiders moved in and now they have an alarm system so when I touch it, they jump out and attack me. If you want your socks cleaned, I need you to shake every piece out for me. I promise that this won't happen"

8. Your living room light is getting dimmer and dimmer and it has nothing to do with the light bulb.

"And that up there"- points to light- "is our bug collection. We have been working on it for years now. The dust is preserving them perfectly."

9. Magical clumps of dust fall on you in bed and you wonder if the house is caving in, until you turn off your ceiling fan.

"Wow. The large clumps of dust are hanging on to the ceiling fan with fingers, just waiting for the perfect moment to attack us in our sleep. Just turn the fan back on and then we don't have to look at it."

10. While vacuuming, you are still trying to get all the pine needles from the real Christmas tree you 2010.

"It's my vacuum. It sucks. And I don't mean literally. There's no way my lack of cleaning skills are to blame."

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentines/recover from flu Day

Valentines day is not something Jay and I really celebrate. I think we both agree that we get each other enough stuff throughout the year because we care, it doesn't need to be one day a year that we show each other that.

That being said, there is something fun about a holiday that I just can't resist. February is just boring, plain, cold February without Valentines Day. And after all this dreary winter, I just need to celebrate SOMETHING.

Unfortunately, we had the stomach flu make it's way through our house. I'm not 100% sure it's completely done with it's tour of our home yet, but I'm going to pretend all is good and try to get on with life.

The stomach flu is pretty bad on its own. But toss in a toddler that may/may not have ADD and you have your hands full. Of vomit.

I think I spent a little time crying and praying in the bathroom, we are in recovery mode. Trying to disinfect, making sure no one is touching someone else and watching the last healthy child like a hawk. It's during this time that my twins feel the need to share EVERYTHING they own with each other. Most days we have fights but now that the flu is here, it's "let's share sippy cups" week at our house.

So I'm sorry if it's been awhile since I've been on. We had a funeral last week, the stomach flu this week, I'm going to need a week just to get back to normal.

So, Valentines Day. I went to the Dollar Tree to see if I could find some fun things for the twins to do (this was well before the flu hit) and discovered these fun Valentines:


Instructions look simple. So I did exactly what was stated and planted it right in the middle of the living room so the twins could both see what was going to happen. What I failed to realize was that there are more instructions hiding on the bag. So I was sitting there watching the exterior bag get bigger and bigger, because the balloon inside was straining against the plastic. I knew that this was one huge explosion waiting to happen.

The ACTUAL instructions tell you to "smack the bag", "SHAKE THE BAG" and throw it quickly on the ground far away from you. Nice. Kind of like a grenade. Seems safe.

I decide to take action and slightly shake my bag, when all of a sudden- BOOM!

Magical balloon sitting in the middle of our living room...along with my bowels.

The kids loved it. The balloon, that is. They didn't notice Mommy huddled in the corner, shaking like a dog during a thunderstorm.

Happy Valentines Day! Here's a Valentine that is so romantic it will stop your heart. From beating. Forever.

Be warned.


It's pretty cute though and the kids are having fun with their Valentines. Worth a dollar. I have 2 more bombs to set off and I think I'll save those for Jalon.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Awkward Pictures of the Most Unphotogenic Person in the World

When I was a young girl (13-16 years old), all I ever wanted to be was a model.

That's it.

It was a huge goal.

Turns out, I am one of the most unphotogenic people in the entire world.

1. An excuse for ugly people on why they look that way.

I cannot take a good picture.

It doesn't matter what kind of makeup I have on, what I'm wearing, the camera I use, or even who uses the camera.

I'm a disaster.

Need proof?

I provide evidence in support of my previous claim:

My "Orphan Annie" phase.
My face is all "Go ahead...I know I look like an idiot."
It's almost like a mullet.
Ok...fine. It's a permed mullet.
I didn't think I could get any more good looking...turns out I was right.

Nice bangs.
I had skills.
And weird expressions.
It's amazing I never had a boyfriend.
And why am I hanging out in a coat closet?

I look like a teenage boy here.
I loved that shirt.
And I wore that shirt in public often.
I kept it until it was all holey and missing chunks.
It was a sad day when that shirt was retired.

I don't know what I was doing, so please don't ask.
But I look like a professional model here, right?
Not quite sure what the blanket was for since I'm pretty sure I was dressed underneath.

Just so you don't think I'm the only weird one in my family, I present my sister.
The "cute" one.
Looks can be deceiving.
Love you Jess!

"We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!" - Gollum
Scary, isn't it?
Not sure what I was going for, but my goodness, I pulled it off.
Are you surprised to hear that my model career didn't work out?
But, if there's ever a need for another hobbit, feel free to give me a call.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Terrifical Tuesday (with pictures!)



Yesterday, when I picked Evan up from school, the first thing he said to me was, "Mommy! Guess what? I can speak Spanish! BONJOUR!"

Ooooh so close.

He also told me this the other day:

Evan: "Mommy, I'm going to try to stop growing."
Me: "Why would you want to do that?"
Evan: "Because you said you were sad I was getting too big to sit on your lap, so I'm going to stay little for you."
Me: *tear*

I don't have a ton today, but I do have quite a few pictures that I would LOVE to share.

So prepared to be bored.

First up:

Jay and I took Evan bowling the other day.
I'm not sure why we thought this was a great was pretty boring.
Maybe it's just me...but I'm not a fan of bowling.

Here's how Jay bowls.
He's into it.
Even though we had the bumpers up because of Evan, he did pretty good.

I, however, needed the bumpers more than Evan did.
I used them like people use the sides when playing pool.
My score was higher than normal because of this.
I'm much better at Wii bowling.
Sidenote: I did not realize that's how I looked from behind. Oofta. Is that seriously my butt? Kind of looks like my back wants to keep going. Good thing I have pants on or else you would have never guessed where my back ended and my butt started.

A cute high five.
It may have been planned, but I still find it cute.
The next selection of shots:
Morgan, from calm, sweet child, reading to her doll to "Go away, I'm going to be sad now."
She was so cute, pointing out pictures and reading to her Doc McStuffins doll.

Then the book wouldn't stay up on it's own.

Since the book was acting up, the world was going to explode. 

She was quite depressed about this...

Even put down her doll so she could be properly depressed.

I even tried to fix the book for her, but I was too late.
She had already sunk down into a deep pit of despair.

She's down and out.
No tears for this one though.
That actually requires her to exert energy.
She doesn't waste energy on tantrums, usually.
They look like this.
Until you try to touch her...
I spent the entire day cleaning yesterday.
I was beat.
But I did take breaks and during those breaks, we decided to sing and dance.
When we sing and dance, we really get into it.
Really, really into it.
And because Mommy was singing into a microphone, they needed one too.
Wii remotes make GREAT microphones.

Really getting into it.
We were singing along to Glee.

Morgan focusing pretty hard.

She can't really dance and sing at the same time.
She mainly focused on singing right into her microphone.
Too cute.
The Stay At Home Mom life is pretty hard sometimes.
Although, it's not all fun and games.
I cleaned for about 6 hours yesterday.
Now I'm constantly walking behind the kids in an effort to keep it cleaned up for as long as possible.
Like shoveling during a blizzard...why do we even bother?

Friday, February 1, 2013

It Never Fails....

1. When I'm in a hurry or late I will trip over every tiny thing in my path, step on a lego and cry angry tears, fall down a flight of stairs and rip my pants open right on my butt, spill coffee on my white shirt, lose my keys in my messy purse, drop something made of glass and run out the door without brushing my teeth or my hair.

2. ^ This is also the time I will hit every single red light in town, during "rush" hour, behind every old person in Minnesota, that just happens to believe the speed limit is too fast.

3. When I actually need my cell phone for some sort of emergency or actual purpose (other than annoying my husband or checking Facebook) it will either be dead, missing or frozen on an application, forcing a complete restart/battery removal.

4. When I go to the gym for a workout and I've been running for about 20 minutes (just at that point when you feel really good and start getting into it), that's when one of my kids will poop their pants and we will have to leave.

5. There will only be long lines, 3 open registers packed full of serious shoppers and one item that won't scan at the grocery store when you have a full cart, 2 screaming/crying children and one with really bad gas that finds it hilarious how stinky he is.

6. The day I decide to shower, do my hair, put on makeup and carefully select my clothing, is the day I will have no where to go. But the 5 minutes I run into the grocery store, at 9 p.m., with my pajamas on because I have a cold and haven't showered in 3 days is the day I will run into every boy from high school that I had a crush on.

7. The only time the UPS man will ring my doorbell with a package I need to sign for, is at 1 p.m. in the afternoon when the twins are sleeping and I'm just stepping out of the shower.

8. The weekend I forgot to go through my son's backpack to prep for the next week of school is the one weekend he brings home an entire packet of homework that requires the use of pictures, glitter, and Popsicle sticks that just happens to be due that very morning.

9. The one time my husband tells me that the guy coming over to fix our TV won't need me to do anything is the one time that the TV guy asks a million questions I don't have the answers for and needs me to find out in order for our TV to work.

10. ^ This will also be the one time I need to actually reach my husband because it's important and he will not answer his phone for 20 minutes or be able to get home by the time the guy leaves.