My kids are weird

I have 3 kids. Only 1 can talk at this moment. The other 2 babble incoherently and it sounds something like words, but only I can understand their gibberish.

My 5 year old, however, MORE than makes up for their lack of speaking.

Here are just a few things that stream out of his constant blather (If you are my friend on Facebook, you may have read a few of these before, but I wanted them in one spot):

1. (This one is my favorite, it makes the most sense.)
Me: "Evan, get your shoes on."
Evan: "Mommy, my name isn't Evan anymore."
Me: "Really, what is it now?"
Evan: "Daddy said my new name is Mouth because I can't seem to keep mine shut."

2. I was getting ready for work and applying a little more makeup than usual (meaning I added colored lip gloss rather than my usual clear).
Evan: "Mommy, you know when clowns put on red lips...?"
Me: "Evan...what are you trying to say to me?"
Evan: "That when clowns put on red lipstick it makes them look really silly."
Me: "Evan, are you telling me my lip gloss makes me look silly?"
Evan: " Just that when clowns put it on, they look silly."
Me: "I quit." Then spend 5 minutes trying to blot some of the stuff off.

3. I found boogers on his bedroom wall when putting him to bed one night.
Me: "Evan, what is all that on your wall?"
Evan: "You're going to be mad at me."
Me: "I know it's boogers, can you please not wipe them on the walls?" (this looks friendlier than I sounded)
Evan: "It's your fault I had to put my boogers there! We are out of tissues!"
Crap...that makes sense.

4. More recently we have had a couple really good storms and brought out our weather radio just in case they decided to get severe. Evan started to ask questions about heading to the basement.
Evan: "I hope a tornado does come Mommy."
Me: "Why would you want that?"
Evan: "Because I have all my toys that I can play with and you can do the laundry."
Me: "Wow, thank you."


  1. I laughed out loud at all of these.

    I love this blog.

    Ashlee / Ramblings of a Silly Girl

  2. Hahaha, oh my goodness. I'm sure there's never a dull moment. Thanks for making me smile.

  3. Hi...I've nominated you for the Liebster Award. Enjoy!


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