Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Can We Eat NOW?!

With all this preparation that goes into Thanksgiving, my kids keep coming into the kitchen and asking me if it's time to eat yet.

Not quite...but we're closer.

So much I need to do today! And here I sit.

Nice.

Just going to do a quick update for you. Mostly because I need a break from the disaster that is my house. I have lots of cooking and prep work to do, but I can't do anything until I finish cleaning. It's taking me much longer than I thought to do the cleaning part.

1.
I've been working on my Christmas list. Having a hard time with it. I keep finding stuff I want, but I'm pretty sure no one is going to get it for me. Like a piano. Or a bunny. I would also like a printer that actually hooks up to my computer. That would be handy. Maybe a maid. Or an assistant that likes to clean. Come on Santa! I'm giving you plenty of notice.

 
2.
My twins came home with a book that they made in school.
It had pages from each kid in their class and told us what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Most were fairly normal.
I think 80% wanted to be firemen/policemen.
A few wanted to be teachers.
 
What did my kids want to be?
Let me just show you.

 
I'm going to have one Captain America and a Unicorn.
I love their imaginations.
 
I better end this.
I just checked my to-do list and it gave me anxiety sweats.
 
Time to go and make some pies.
And try not to eat them before tomorrow...
That's the true test.


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

I FINALLY FINISHED!

I finally finished it.

I started a project, wayyyy back in 2011. Had a goal to finish it in 2012.

Today, in 2014, I actually, really, totally finished this project.

How sad is that?

But, I must say, I LOVE IT!

It was supposed to be a gift years ago...but I'm totally keeping it. It's mine. I love it.

Plus, with all my wonky soldering, there's no way someone else would appreciate all the effort I actually put into this.

Here's the post I made back in 2012:

http://mycrazyfamilycircus.blogspot.com/2012/10/get-my-butt-in-gear.html

Here are the pictures I just finished taking:

Please excuse my dust.
We live here.

It wasn't supposed to be a candle holder.
It was actually supposed to hang up.
But after so long, I gave up.
It's a candle holder now. 

Please don't mind the wonky-ness of it.
It came from my head.
This turned out pretty good, considering.

 

I just have to find a home for it!
 
So glad that project is done.
Now, just 1,000,391 more to go!
 
Those can wait a few more years...

Friday, November 21, 2014

Thanksgiving Dinner

I went to the grocery store today to gather the food needed to procure an amazing Thanksgiving dinner next week. (I'm a great gatherer. Spend a fortune! Sorry Jay...)

I am the proud owner of a GIANT fresh turkey, cranberries, stuffing veggies, pie beginnings, sweet potatoes, russet potatoes and LOTS of ingredients to go along with it all.

There will be 3 days of preparation that will go into this meal. I have a schedule written down that I will post on a cabinet door, starting Monday. Monday I make cranberries. Tuesday, I start the gluten free dinner rolls (they take a LONG time to prepare...) and Wednesday, I get to brine my turkey, start prepping the bread for the stuffing and make my pies!

All of it will be gluten-free and made from scratch.

Most people will look at this list and wonder if I'm crazy.

I know you are right now. I can already see you shaking your head and wondering why I needed pecans because I'm already nuts. (Ha! I find myself hilarious...)

"Why are you doing so much?"

"That's a LOT of work."

"Don't stress yourself out over one dinner."

Let me clear this up for you.

I LOVE being in my kitchen.

I ADORE planning out meals and cooking them from scratch.

I find it RELAXING to make meals for people.

My house revolves round my kitchen. I spend a LOT of time in there every single day, planning out meals and making them. I'm so darn excited for next week to get here so I can get started! I can't wait!

It's soothing to me. It's therapy for me. I love cooking.

Simple as that.

So, if you don't want to cook and need a place to come, I will have plenty.

And it will be gluten free and delicious. I guarantee it.



Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I am SO STUPID

I can already hear my husband, "Duh. Kind of knew that already."

Well, I think I've reached a new level of stupid. Crown me the Queen of Stupidville.

I went Christmas shopping today. I was going to wait until Black Friday, but my main reason for going out would have been the kids. I checked the ad for Black Friday and nothing I needed was in there. However, Target had coupons and freebies right now for items I wanted. Score!

Unfortunately, this is what I came home with:

 
Frozen.
Is taking over my house.
I can't breathe.
(I have, however, pushed every button and sang along already...)
 
No. This isn't all for my daughter either. My sons love Frozen too. They adore Olaf. And singing along to the music. At Target today, you buy $50 of Frozen toys and get a free sing-along DVD. Sweet. I was going to buy that anyway. I will take what I can get for free.
 
But, the big mistake I made was that almost every toy talks or sings.
 
While shopping, my cart sang "Let it Go" the entire time. I could see the smiles and pitying looks of other Moms around me.
 
This is when it hit me. I'm never going to escape that song. At least, not until the batteries wear out and that DVD mysteriously disappears.
 
Knowing my luck, these batteries will be the "real deal" and will never die. Unlike the other ones that you get one day's use out of and then their dead. These batteries will outlive us all.
 
Why did I do this? I really love my children, but to this level?
 
I did get some good deals on this stuff, so I guess that helps me cope a little. And getting to see their faces will be an added bonus.
 
But could someone please get me a BIG HEADSET for Christmas this year? Maybe toss in a small bottle of wine too? That would be appreciated!
 
You know what else is nice?

I'm done.
 
Now I just have to figure out what to get my husband for Christmas. The hardest man to shop for. Ever.
 
Here are some items I'm considering, let me know what you think:
 
I can't even explain what this is.
But I really want to see him wear it.

Not the actual electric toothbrush, but the heads for one.
I like to keep him confused.
 

I picked this because it looked manly.
And it made me hungry.

I like this one for myself.
It's a win-win type of gift.

Flannel is so sexy.
One piece pj's?
Even better. 

Oooooh.
Just.
Wow.

This suits his personality.

And this, just for his reaction alone.
 
 
What do you think?
Did I do good or what?


Friday, November 14, 2014

The Most Disgusting Christmas Ever

Hey Parents!

Need some great gifts for kids?

Want something that's really deep down disgusting? Do your kids not talk about poop/pee/farts enough in your house and your wishing they would? I found the PERFECT gifts for Christmas!

Look no further, here are some of the most offensive toys I could locate. (Actually, I took about 20 minutes to search them out...)

Most of these are found on your TV and have kids begging and pleading for Santa to bring them for Christmas. (Mine are. My kids are crazy though. Maybe you have better kids than I do. Lucky.)

1.
Great, isn't it?
I thought so too.
Don't have a real dog to do this for you?
Just buy this one.
The Poop Dog game from Toys R' Us.
"When you squeeze his leash he makes a gassy sound that gets louder and louder until...plop."
Wow.
That sounds like FUN!
The commercials are crazy and yes, my kids have asked for this one.
 
2.
This is Gooey Louie.
"Put your finger up his nose and try to pick a winner. Watch out...if you pick the wrong gooey louies eyes will pop, he'll flip his lid and his brain will fly out."
 
Dude.
Like we don't have enough issues with kids shoving fingers up their own noses.
And his brain?
I'm sorry...but, that does NOT look like a brain.
It's slightly phallic and there's no WAY I'm the only one that is seeing that.
Don't even lie.
My kids have also BEGGED for this toy.
They would probably just eat these boogers too...
 
3.
The Fart Blaster.
"With each fart sound a banana scented burst of air is emitted."
 
I live in a house with 3 boys.
We don't need anymore scented air coming out of anywhere.
I don't care how it's scented.
 
4.
Barbie Potty Trainin' Taffy.
"Barbie doll also cleans up after her because this adorable animal actually pees and poops!"
Swell.
Are people really that desperate to clean poop?
I'm so confused by this trend.
If that's not enough, you can buy this one too:

Are you tempted yet?
 
5.
Baby Alive Real Surprises Baby Doll
"Really pees and poops in her diaper."
Her face is full of regret, like a new mother that wonders what she got herself into.
How much you want to bet that doll never ate solid food again?
 
6.
LaLaLoopsy Babies Diaper Surprise Doll
"Feed your lalaloopsy Babies water, press their belly "button", and check their diaper for a surprise-magically poops charms."
 
I feel like we're just setting girls up for some major disappointment when they get older.
I don't remember find any prizes in my kids diapers.
Well, unless you count the dime incident.
But I don't really remember that being fun.
 
My daughter even called this one disgusting.
 
7.
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
By Sam Haldenby on March 14, 2014
Toilet paper is nice and soft but only really good for one use. Fortunately, I had the foresight to buy several.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No
 
Copied that from Amazon.
Really needed a laugh after discovering all this.
 
Just in case all this wasn't enough, you could buy your kids the best toy ever:
Poo-dough.
Because we were getting board with regular play-doh.
I'm kind of amazed at how great it really looks.
The "corn nuggets" really sell it.
 
I really hoped I helped you discover some great Christmas Gifts for this upcoming season.
Your kids will love them all!
 
 

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Behind the Scenes

Lately, being sick and overwhelmed with life in general, things have hit me much harder than they probably would have normally. News, about friends and family comes in and you just can't help but feel broken and sad.

I feel so confused about my next step in life. About where I should be headed and, if each direction I consider taking, is going to be the right one. This time of being home with my kids full time, is quickly coming to an end and a decision will need to be made about where I will be next. I never thought this job was one I would enjoy, but now that it's almost over, I am desperate to turn back time and not change a thing.

I constantly pray and ask God, "What next?"

It sometimes feels like God handed me a script of how to live my life, but left most of it blank.

He set the stage for my performance, gave me all I need to do this scene, but the rest is up to me. The audience is sitting there, in the dark, waiting and watching my next move. What if I fail? What if I mess up?

I have fears and darkness hidden in the corners of my head. I don't notice them too often, but when I'm sick, hurt or angry, they seem to come out on their own and overwhelm everything good I had.

Now, instead of walking down those paths with the confidence I should have, living my life with faith, those paths are filled with doubts and worry. The voice of doubt tells me, "You're doing this wrong. You have no idea what your doing. This idea is stupid. Everything you say is stupid. People are laughing at you. You have no friends. You are worth nothing."

I can get lost in those thoughts, believing them and wondering how true they are. When I get lost in those thoughts, close myself off from the world and hide. I don't sleep well, feel angry/crabby a lot and can't seem to finish a project. The house falls apart. Then I end up beating myself up even more and falling even deeper inside those thoughts. I loose my confidence and belief that there is some good out there.

Not today.

Not going to happen.

I'm going to try something new, instead.

I'm going to find hope in today, instead of doubt.

I'm going to see the gift in today, instead of the negative.

You know why?

Because God has the script. The WHOLE script. He's working behind the scenes of my life.

I don't get to see that part. But he's there.

Testing my faith and willingness to allow him to work behind the scenes. Instead of closing myself in, I'm going to force myself out there. Instead of listening to those voices, I'm going to counteract them with a new project. One I will actually finish!

We are going to do a Thanks Giving Tree. Ann Voskamp has this wonderful project on her site where you write down items that your thankful for on scripture leaves. I think it's just what I need right now.

Here's a link, if your interested in participating as well:  http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/11/why-thanksgiving-is-radically-subversive-and-everything-you-need-to-have-the-best-thanksgiving-yet/

And I get to share it with my family. I'm not setting up a certain goal, I'm not putting pressure on us, but I want us to be intentional with our family time and take 15 minutes, each day, to share our thankfulness with each other. That way, we can start each day with good. My hope is that all our good will overwhelm the negative that works its way in. God tests our faith for him. I'm thinking that all this is just a test for me.

I need to constantly remind myself to remain faithful. That even though I can't see the whole play, God is working behind the scenes of my life.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Surprise- Diseased Date Night!

I've been fighting this cold all week.

Along with that, keeping up with the kids, housework and other projects, I'm just about beat.

My husband arrived home last night and handed me a card. It was adorable. A little boy on the front holding a bunch of red roses.

Inside it stated something like this: (I would post the actual card but his hand writing is HORRIBLE. It would take years for a normal human to decipher his code and by that time, I will be 60. I've adjusted to reading his ancient hieroglyphics and will spell it out for you. Your welcome.)

(Also, I may/may not have added words to make it sound more romantic...I do this in my head all the time.)

"My Dear, Beautiful Wife, Danielle,
  
    I know that flowers are a bit cliché so I consider the flowers on the front of this card your gift. (Bless his heart.) So onto the main reason of this card. I was trying to find a way to ask you on a date and everything I came up with sounded cheesy. (That's his way of saying it sounded SUPER romantic but too embarrassing for him to do...)
  
   So...would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night at 5:00? I hope you say yes because I already made reservations last week and got a sitter.

Jalon."

So basically, I have no choice.

Just kidding! Once you say there's a babysitter, I really could care less WHAT the date actually involves...

Although, after a week of not going outside (except to drop/pick up kids from school), I'm feeling a bit grungy. Today is the day I wear pants. Go me.

This is fairly accurate.

So today, instead of cleaning my house, crafting or playing a game on the internet, I'm going to be working on myself.

After spending the last two nights on the couch (due to coughing all night) I have to take this:

So very close!
Except add some children that feel the need to "cuddle". 

This is an actual close-up of my face right now.
Scared?
Me too.
Bet my husband is rethinking this date night.
 
And turn it into this:
 
If your going to try, why not reach for something unattainable?

Aww...look at their love.
LOOK AT IT.
I'm gagging a little, but you get the point.
 
And in order to get to that point, I have to do a LOT of this: (Pretty sure it would take a lot more than this to get me to look like the picture above, but you better be sure I'm going to try!)
 
On my second cup now!

Give me ALL the cold pills!
One will probably work, right?

A LOT of time in my case.
That's why I've started already and it's only 10 a.m.
I'm a realist.
 
I'm excited! I'm trying to be more excited than sick. Hopefully I can just convince the germs to "sleep" for a few hours so I can enjoy this evening. Feel free to come back tomorrow, but at least give me a night. It's so rare that my husband goes out of his way like this and I really want to take advantage and enjoy it!
 
Wish me luck!