Thursday, August 1, 2013

Whore House Officially Open For Business.

That title just sucked you in, didn't it.

Here's the story behind that title, for those interested in boring things that happen around here. (You are interested, so keep reading.)

Every Halloween, my husband and I tend to go just a little overboard with our decorations. It's fun and we enjoy going all out with holidays. Halloween just happens to be one of our favorites.

Anyway, during one Halloween, my husband decided to replace our porch lights with one red light and one blue light. They looked pretty awesome that night.

The problem is our laziness/forgetful factor comes into play here and we completely forgot about the lights. We turn them on at night without a second thought. At least, we did...

Our lovely, much older, neighbor came over the other day for a nice visit and decided he had to tell us something very important.

Apparently our "red light" is sending signals to the other neighbors that has them questioning our position in this neighborhood. We are no longer the "nice family, with 3 kids and a garden", but instead, "A whore house disguised as a nice family, with 3 kids and a garden".

The neighbors have even had discussions about us and what we are trying to tell everyone with our "red porch light". My poor husband was just a little confused when he was approached by our neighbor.

But then we looked it up on Wikipedia:

A red-light district is a part of an urban area where there is a concentration of prostitution and sex-oriented businesses, such as sex shops, strip clubs, adult theaters, etc. The term originates from the red lights that were used as signs of brothels.[1] There are areas in many big cities around the world which have acquired an international reputation as red-light districts.[2] Some red-light districts have acquired a touristic interest beyond sex tourism, and can be perceived as places of artistic, historic or cultural interest, whether or not they still serve the sex trade.

Isn't that awesome? No? I didn't think so either.

But not only do we have the red light, we also have a blue one next to it. Maybe that indicates a whore house blue light special? Either way, I'm sending signals that I'm available for cheap. Not exactly what I was going for here.

My days are pretty full right now, I'm not 100% sure I can live up to the standards expected of a red light district. So I asked my husband if it was OK if we removed the light, at least until the house is cleaner. He just turned it off...Halloween is just around the corner. Might as well just wait.

Thanks to my neighbors, who have been apparently looking at me in a whole new light, I've learned something totally new and now will be constantly aware whenever the kids decide to play with those light switches. I don't need any "surprises" coming to our door at night...