Thursday, May 17, 2012

Crazy Dropoff for school

Have you ever encountered something that seems so basic and simple, yet there are people that just CAN'T seem to get it right? (Just like the girl in my basic training flight. Girl could NOT march when her arms would swing opposite of what she walked. This comes naturally to most people. We suffered through 90 degree temperatures doing this over and over again until she could get it right. She almost got my boot up her ass, but my legs were too sore from all the marching I had to do. I almost wish I had soap on a rope...yes, I would have done it. Trust me- you just reach a certain point when your hot and tired.)

The drop off for our school is simple. There's even a sidewalk area that's specifically designed to help you with this process. And it's painted a cheerful yellow that has been decorated with orange cones, for those that need MORE assistance.

Here's how it should go:

1. Pull up along sidewalk. This is a lot of space, about 6-7 cars can fit at one time (as long as the dumb ass with the moving van doesn't show up again).

2. Remove kid from car.

3. Pull away immediately.


See how easy that was?

Here's how it usually plays out:

1. Pull up along sidewalk. Immediately start noticing the cars in front of me aren't letting kids out yet. What? This is not close enough for your "wonderful" child? Your child is not famous and DOES not need to be let out right at the door. I promise. It's a beautiful sunny day and I can see your child bouncing around in his seat, waiting to be let out. What's going on here? Where's my baseball bat? Oh yeah...Jalon won't allow me to have weapons in the car. (And why not? I know my Dad would allow weapons...he taught me well.)

2. The actual removal process. This part seems to be the most complicated for people to follow. Removing the kid from the car does entail some skill. But it is May, so I'm pretty sure they have the routine down by now. But you would not believe the amount of time this process tends to take. And it's usually not the kids that I notice have the issues.

Picture me standing there with a megaphone: "PARENTS: Time to let go. Release the child! There are teachers standing all around here, all is well. There shouldn't be tears at this point. Please stop your crying, it's embarrassing."

When the parents finally release their child from the car, which has taken up to 3 minutes (yes, I did time them) they will give hugs, kisses, a little chit-chat and wave like it's a celebration that they actually made it. (Seriously, I'm about to bring balloons and confetti next time. Someone could probably serve refreshments. Can you taste my sarcasm here? It's delicious.)

3. As they are "celebrating" the parents sit in their car while the child walks to the door. My son is LONG gone, in his classroom, and ready to start his day. Yet I'm still stuck in my line, in the drop-off point, watching parents eye stalk their children until they are out of sight. Why this happens? No clue. Color me confused because these people have gone crazy. (FINALLY! It's not me that's the crazy one!)

Once my son leaves the car, I feel the need to leave. I don't want to watch him walk into the school. What is there to be worried about? There are teachers all over the place, all he has to do is walk through the doors. It's not a version of Hunger Games, where you have to be the first inside or someone will clobber you with their backpack. (My poor kid would TOTALLY lose game! His backpack has a folder. That's it. And he's a huge softy. He could have a sign taped to his back "Bully me-I'm easy".)

Maybe I'm missing something. But either way, this is getting ridiculous! Drop off is just that..drop off. Not, pull up, snuggle, kiss, giggle, give hugs, more high fives then release.

Maybe it's a good thing I'm not allowed weapons in my car.

I won't even get started on Pick-up.

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