Sorry this post sucks!

Just so you know...I'm sorry for this.

1.

When spiders attack for no reason,

I will scream and accuse of treason.

We have an agreement, those spiders and I

If they remain outside, I will let them bide.

I had one drop in my face and scare me,

And cause me to scream like a crazy banshee.

I was embarrassed and felt terrible for the shout

The Starbucks lady is now deaf and will not help out.

I just wanted some ice cold coffee to go

The spider ruined my chance with his show.

So I smashed his ass as quick as I could with a shoe

What else could a scardy-cat, trapped in a car, do?

But I finally got my coffee today and a caffeine buzz to boot

So the spider didn't ruin my day, but his day has gone kaput.

2.

My dishes were dirty as could be

I thought my day was spent

I wanted to cry and throw them away

But in the dishwasher they went.

I crammed that puppy full as I could

It took some skill and a little talent

I'm the best washer in the hood

Just me, the dishes and a large mallet.

I don't like to wash by hand

I try my hardest to make it all fit

So I stuff my washer as full as I can

All is good, as long as I don't break it.

Sippy cups, plates and silver wear all around

It was a challenge to fit all that crap inside

I think I hear a weird cracking sound

Oops! Some broken dishes might need to hide.

3.

I have writers block

And it feels like a large headache

I may have to go for a walk

So my brain will feel more awake

I'm stuck writing all these stupid rhymes

When I want to write something smart

This happens to me all the time

My brain has one large, constant fart.

I can't believe your still reading this crap

I should probably stop this here

Maybe I should quit and take a nap

Don't worry, it's done, have no fear.