Friday, May 18, 2012

Let's play a new game!

It's called: What's that SMELL!

The object: Hunt around the house, sniffing like a dog, trying to find what the hell is making the house smell like a combination of hot diarrhea, old pee and sweat.

Why this is a challenge: When it's a child that creates the smell, it gets difficult to nail down exactly where the smell is coming from. They get into everything and I'm not 100% sure if it's my house or just the children creating that stench.

Before there were kids in our home, there were dogs. So we are quite used to playing this disgusting game. Although, finding a pit bull dog poop wasn't exactly a challenge. But my little shih tzu liked to hide her poop and we wouldn't find them until they were solidified to the point of being firewood.

On this hunt I discovered the source of the smell:

1. The twins bedroom. Declan ripped his diaper off during nap time the other day. I didn't notice it at the time, but there's something not quite right about his sheets. And by "not quite right" I mean, yellow stains and hot pee smell. After removing them, their bedroom smells better, but there's still something gross. So a hunting I shall go...

2. The living room. Found an old diaper on the floor. Gross. My house is gross. Getting a little better, but still not quite right...

3. The kitchen. The trashcan where all the diapers go to die. My garbage can smells like a bio-hazard. What are we throwing away? Dead bodies? (Not that I know what dead bodies smell like, but it can't be pleasant.)This is by far the worst place in the house. Almost...

4. The bathroom. Thank you Evan, for leaving your "present" in the toilet for me. I heaved a little. I'm amazed at what a little 5 year old body can produce. Might have to lay off feeding this kid for awhile. Bleh. Seriously, why does my house STILL not smell right?

5. Again the kitchen. Forgot to sweep the floor. I could make 3 meals out of what I swept up. I would take a picture, but then I would be on a TV show somewhere for having the most disgusting house. Moving on...again.

6. My bedroom? bathroom. Once again, we are having issues flushing here. (This game is fun, isn't it? It just keeps getting better and better.)

7. The children. I need to start potty training these two. But every time I bring them to the bathroom they just stick their hands in the toilet and then we walk around calling them "potty hands" so everyone knows not to touch them. (Morgan loves this part...she doesn't quite get that we are laughing at her and not with her. And when I scream and run away from her, she finds this to be the best entertainment. I'm going to start washing her in Lysol and Bleach.)

Wow. My house smells a little better, but if you walk outside and walk back in, it's not great. A little stale, like an old dead animal maybe. (Once again...not sure if that smell is correct. Just go with it.)

I can only Febreeze so much here, so I'll have to do some serious cleaning. I just wish it would actually STAY clean, but I know the second Evan comes home to a clean bathroom, he'll pee all over it. (I do mean ALL OVER IT. Not just the seat, but ALL of it. He has skills.) It must be a boy thing. Marking your territory by peeing all over the toilet.

Want to come to my house for a visit?

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