As Mothers, we tend to notice every thing another mom does. And we tend to jump and judge that Mom based on no actual facts.
Last November I noticed a Mom carrying her child into Target without shoes or socks on. My main thought was, "Geez...it's just about winter and you're bringing your child out without socks? How hard is it to put socks on a child?" We all know how hard it is to KEEP socks on your child and instead of judging her I wish I had been more supportive and I wish I didn't have such a crappy attitude. Maybe she was tired of fighting her kid and thought, "heck...I'm just going to pop in for a second, who will even care?"
There are so many things we judge other Mom's on. Here are a few examples:
1. What is in your shopping cart? Lunchables anyone? Or are you an organic Mom?
2. What your child is wearing. (How many times have I been outside with my kids in jammies?)
3. How they are in public. I always feel bad when I see a Mom struggling in a store with a child or two screaming over something stupid. It's exhausting and it's even worse when you receive countless "looks" from those that think it's something you did or didn't do.
Did you breastfeed or formula feed?
Did you use pacifiers or not?
Did you feed pureed foods too early or too late?
Is your child fully potty trained before mine?
Is your child more educated than mine?
Does your child wear Baby Gap while I shop at Once Upon a Child?
Does your child watch 1 hour of TV while my children watch it all the time?
Does it all really matter in the end?
Rather than care about what everyone else thinks, we should really take care to be more supportive of each other. Every one of us is experiencing some sort of difficulty with kids. Whether you are a new Mom or not. It's not as if our children came with an instruction manual. Each one of my kids is so completely different. So even if Evan did come with a manual, it wouldn't have worked with Morgan or Declan. In fact, I find myself at a complete loss with the twins, because they are so different and I feel as if I've started all over again.
And this picture from Time Magazine . Seriously, I wish this wasn't so controversial. Let it go. To each their own. You can think it's wrong or you can think it's right. But don't go judging another parent for what they decide to do with their own children. There's enough wrong in our world without being against each other. I'm not even going to give my opinion on this picture because it really doesn't matter what I think.
It's hard to be a Mom. And this is nothing against Dads. But it's rare that I hear about other Dads gossiping about what their child does. They are more than likely just to roll with it and not think twice about a stray comment.
As Moms, we are a bit more defensive when it comes to our children and are quick to be up in arms when we feel like we are being judged on our parenting skills. We tend to lash out or try to defend our decision in some way.
I'm not a perfect Mom. In fact, some days I feel like I'm in the running for Worst Parent of the Year. And because I know that I'm not a perfect parent, I'm going to work my butt off to not judge other Moms for just doing the best that they can.
Because when it comes right down to it, I think that's all we can do. Is try our hardest to raise our kids the best we can.
I am critical enough of my own parenting without needing extra help feeling guilty about the way I'm raising my children. I think we all carry a gigantic suitcase of "Mom Guilt" and I'm not sure if it ever goes away. We always feel like we can do better or try harder when it comes to our children.
I think some of my favorite Moms are the ones that we can share everything with. The ones we can admit our failures or successes to. The ones that won't judge because of a decision but understand that we are all doing what we can. Maybe that as long as we love our children and are raising them to the best of our abilities, what more could a child need?