Sunday, May 13, 2012

A day to celebrate giving birth to heathens.

I shouldn't be allowed to celebrate this holiday. My kids are demented and scary. BUT, since I did have to get cut open, feed them, raise them "properly" and completely ruin whatever was left of my body, I guess I will be celebrating this wonderful day.

I will be starting with a list of demands:

1. There WILL be donuts. Thanks to my husband for providing these delightful, frosted treats. I really love donuts and it's just not a special day without them.

2. I will run away. Probably not forever. But maybe 2 hours or so. Just so I can have a break from the arguing, or hearing a crash and waiting for someone to cry so we can determine how bad it was. I need a chance to become "normal" again. (To be honest, that will probably never happen. There's only so much time and 2 hours will NOT cut it. But, it will cut down on the crazy and allow me to relax for a little.)

3. I will, at one point, demand gifts. No one has purchased any. That's OK. I'm buying my own. ( I don't trust others to buy my very specific purse...I'll buy my own gifts.) But I will still demand something. And I expect a homemade piece of clay that resembles a pile of poo.

4. Also, since it's a Mom day, it should revolve around me. (Not that any other day should be different...) I get to do whatever I want to do. Sadly, this will be laundry. (Does that make anyone else want to cry?)

5. I will also keep reminding EVERYONE that it is my special day anytime I don't want to do something that they want to do. (Wash the dishes- it's Mothers day. SO not going to happen!)

Happy Mother's Day! Hope your day goes just as well as mine will. It will because it doesn't have a choice.

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