I had the worst headache last night. The kind that makes you slightly sick to your stomach, you cry from pain over every turn your eyeballs make and the noise that your kids can create, when they know you have a headache, sends you into a rage that's similar to the Hulk on a bad day.
So I had to take a time-out and lay on the couch.
And I even had a 5 year old nurse by my side for help and "protection".
This is his speech (almost word for word, but I was in pain so it's hard to remember every thing)
Evan: "Mommy, you just lay there. I'm going to take care of you. I'll even keep the babies off of you. Don't you worry about it. You just close your eyes."
Me: "Thanks Evan...but you don't need to worry about the babies, your Daddy is taking care of them."
Evan: "Mommy, I can help with the babies. Except for Declan. He bites. Daddy can have the one that bites. Declan bit me and it hurt. So Daddy can have the biter."
Me: "Ok. Just don't worry about it Evan. Can I have some quiet now?"
Evan: "Yes Mommy, I'll make sure everyone is super quiet. You just close your eyes. Are you going to close them now? It's ok Mommy, you can close them. I'll keep you safe by blowing wind on anyone that comes close to you. Are you hot Mommy? Does my hand feel cold?" As he starting rubbing my forehead.
Me: "Blowing wind? And yes, your hand is cold."
Evan: flapping some sort of toy to make a breeze, "Yeah, I can make wind and scare the babies away. Your head is hot Mommy. You need to rest. Are you going to close your eyes now?"
Jalon: "Maybe you should go lay down in your room."
Me: "No. I'm fine here."
Evan: "Mommy is fine Daddy, I'm taking care of her. I don't like you when you have a headache. I like you when you feel good. I'll help you feel better. Do you feel better now Mommy? You should close your eyes and I'll go lay down with Daddy on the floor and close my eyes. We'll watch the babies for you. Daddy will watch Declan because he's bad. I'll watch Morgan."
Me: "Evan, I'm fine. Shhhh..."
Evan: "Ok Mommy, you just relax." Then he goes and lays down with Declan on the floor. They fight over a pillow. Declan kicks him in the face and now both kids are in tears.
Me: "Alright. I quit. It's all better."
Not. Even. Close.