I'm becoming unhinged.

1.

There has already been a meltdown today over a spoon.

Full out screaming fit, with tears, that included a time-out.

Over a spoon.

I could hardly pick him up and carry him to his bed, he was so fiesty.

Because of a spoon.

I have two color-changing spoons that came out of a cereal box.

I have 3 kids.

What do I do?

I throw the spoons in the trash.

Ruined my day, they did.

2.

Since becoming a full-time Stay-at-home Mom, I have gone crazy.

I keep spacing out.

I haven't talked to a friend in weeks. WEEKS I said. That's too long.

I miss my friends.
I miss laughing.
I miss having conversations that aren't arguments about who hit who first.
I really need to get out more.

Vent over.

3.

I forgot we had speech therapy today.
We walked to a garage sale, 2 houses down from us.
Ran into our therapy lady there and was like "hey, what are you doing here?"
She said, "looking for you guys because our appointment started 5 minutes ago."
Crap.
 See above about "spacing out".
So the kids were not thrilled because they are used to playing outside at this time.
Dealing with cranky kids is awesome.
And I had Evan that kept asking me if it was ok for him to poop.
He doesn't ask or tell us at all, if it's just us here.
But when we have company, we get the full description, color, shape and size.
Thank you for that Evan.
Our Therapist didn't really need any more evidence that I was a crazy person, but I'm pretty sure CPS will be here any moment.

4.
Our backyard is fully fenced, containment system.
There's one way in and one way out.
Unless the garage is open, apparently.
Scared myself today when I called everyone in for lunch.
I was waiting for them all to meet me at the fence, Morgan met me at the house door.
She could have easily walked to the street.
Big sigh of relief that I noticed right away.
But huge wave of Mommy guilt for what could have happened.
I hate Mommy guilt.
It's so heavy and will sit with me for days.

This face? Multiply this by 3 and that's my day. My head won't stop throbbing. It's all blurry because she was kicking me in my ovaries and it made me cry a little.

Ever have one of those days when you just want to put everyone to bed and hide in the bathroom with a book?

I'm past that.

And I found a spider in the laundry.

I'm so done for today.