Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Crazy Kid Excuses

My 5 year old is weird and tends to come up with the most creative excuses to get out of doing his chores. I'm always amazed when I hear what he comes up with. Feel free to use these if you need to get out of work. What do you have to lose? Well...besides your job.

These were created when he was cleaning:

1. Evan: "I can't clean anymore."
Me: "Why not?"
Evan: "Because my belly is hot and it's saying it can't."
Me: "Geez...that's a good one."

2. Evan: "My legs hurt Mommy."
Me: "Why?"
Evan: "I've been standing too long so I could clean up for you and now they hurt."
Me: "Seriously? It's been 5 minutes. Nice try."

3. Evan: "Mommy, I just want to do the chores that I want to do."
Me: "What would that be?"
Evan: "I will clean my room"
Me: "No you won't. You just want to hide in there and play video games."
Evan: "Yeah..I know."

4. Evan: "I can't clean now Mommy, I have a boo-boo."
Me: "What happened?"
Evan: "I stepped on a toy because no one cleans the playroom!"
Me: "Worst excuse ever."

4.. Evan: "It's just going to get messy again anyway."
Me: "True. Let's just go watch TV."

These aren't excuses but still weird/funny:

Evan: "Mommy, I have a boo-boo on my ear."
Me: "Ouch, you do!" Have you been picking at it?"
Evan: "Yes."
Me: "Leave it alone. Looks like a little crack."
Evan: "Sometimes you have a crack and sometimes you don't have a crack."
Me: "_"

Evan: "My belly is talking to me."
Me: "Really? What's it saying?"
Evan: "It's saying it's hungry."
Me: "Did you finish your dinner?"
Evan: "No. But it's not hungry for dinner anymore."
Me: "What's it hungry for then?"
Evan: " saying it's hungry cream."
Me: "Oh that's a huge surprise. Tell your belly that's not how it works around here."
Evan: "My belly is mad at you."
Me: "Tell it to get in line."
Evan: "Huh?"
Me: "Never mind..."

Me: "Evan stop picking your nose please?"
Evan: "I can't help it."
Me: "Gross. Try your hardest."
Evan: "I have fuzzies in there and they won't come out."
Me: "So get a tissue."
Evan: "What if I just use my tongue?"
Me: -Insert gagging here-

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