Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Day 2 of I'm feeling Pinspired.

This just keeps getting better and better.

Monday was Hair/Beauty.

So. Much. Fun.

I'm not really into this health/beauty portion. Not just because I'm a Stay at Home Mom and just really don't give a crud what I look like on day-to-day basis, but because I have no energy to remember all the things girls are supposed to remember. I will go into detail another day about my "daily" routine, but for now, lets just say that this is WAY more than I would normally do.

There were 3 that fit into this category that I was wanting to try.

I chose, just because I had all the ingredients on hand, the Soft Silky Legs in a Bottle.

Mine was more Greasy, Slick legs in a Tupperware container.

Here, because I care for you and it's interesting to see me make a fool of myself:


This was her version. And she borrowed it from someone else. It's a disaster in a bottle.

It's supposed to exfoliate your legs and when you shave them, not only are you removing a weeks worth of leg hair (Oh, you don't wait that long?), but you are also shaving off a few years worth of dead skin only to be left with soft, silky, beautiful legs.

It called for 3 ingredients. Easy peasy. Can you tell I shop at Sam's Club? Could my olive oil BE any bigger? (Did you read that in Chandlers voice from Friends? No? Did you now? Liar.)

Mixed up, resembles frosting. Yum. Except for the olive oil portion. Make this powered sugar and lemon and you have yourself some delicious icing for an angel food cake...is anyone else hungry now?

 I cut the recipe in half since I know my chances of using this again are slim to never.

If you will notice, mine is not NEARLY as yellow as the one in the other picture.
Maybe it's because I slacked off and used bottled lemon juice and didn't squeeze my own.

I decided to take a shower.
There are no photos.
Trust me.
That would blind you.
And I like you.
I don't think you're quite ready for this jelly.

Here are the directions from the blog with my comments in pink:

Soak your legs in the tub for 5 minutes. Or if you’re taking a shower, wash and conditioner your hair first, then after your legs have had a chance to soak for a few minutes, apply the mixture to your legs and rub it in. Ouchie, Ouchie ouch. Sugar rub actually hurts just a little. I was surprised at how GOOD this felt! Really? Who are you? Or what are you? A scaled reptile? I ended up using it on my feet and arms as well! You will see further on why this is the worst possible idea that one could ever come up with.
The abrasiveness of the sugar rubs off all the dirt and dead skin, the lemon juice works as a mild skin peel revealing brighter, smoother skin, and, of course, the olive oil penetrates deep into the skin and provides long-lasting moisture. Sure. Whatever. Blah, blah, blah.
After rubbing the mixture in for a few minutes….it’s time to shave your legs. Feels pretty good huh? Well, we’re just getting started! WHAT?! There's MORE torture ahead? Goodie.

Now, rinse and REPEAT! Yep, do it again.  Shave twice? How much hair are we supposed to have here? I'm pretty sure I wasn't shaving off any dead skin. Just TONS of oil! My razor is dead. Good thing I used Jalons. Rub mixture all over legs (and feet!)…shave….and rinse again. This time you might want to use a mild soap to get some of the oil off. Or not. Your preference. (Note: make sure the bottom of the shower is oil-free when you are done so the next person in doesn’t get a slippery surprise. Since I used body wash after shaving, mine was fine.) No matter how much soap I seemed to use, my shower is a death trap with the ability to launch you from one end to the other in seconds. It's like the most dangerous slip and slide. I can't wait for my husband to figure this out.
When you get out of the bath or shower, put lotion on and enjoy your silky smoooooooth legs! If you need lotion after this, there's something wrong with your skin. I have so much grease on my legs, I could rub them against you and you wouldn't need lotion for a week. I could grease pans with these legs. Make a pot roast and grilled cheese for a week without needing oil or butter. I guarantee you will be so amazed at how soft your skin feels, you won’t be able to keep your hands off yourself! ;-) Please keep them to your self! There are dangers involved with touching things now. I washed my hands in the shower but after getting out of the shower, I couldn't get my pants on. When I sat on the toilet, I almost slid off. I couldn't get my deodorant cap off or the bathroom door open.

In conclusion, this is supposed to get all the dead skin off. But in reality, I think all it does is add enough oil so it can trick you into thinking your legs are really "soft and silky".

Although, if you would like to impale your loved ones face into the shower head when they hop in after you did all this crap to your legs, then go for it.

Otherwise, save your olive oil for the kitchen.

(This is a small edit to let you know that after a few hours of letting the oil "sink in", it's not too bad. Although, I'm still not sure lotion wouldn't accomplish the same feeling. If you shave your legs with shaving cream, then apply lotion, this feels exactly the same. Just without the mess in your bathroom. No one has died after using shaving cream. This recipe, however...well, verdict is still out.)

I chose something for my hair that involved using wet hair and no skills.
I'm lazy that way.
And I don't have a ton of time here.
It was nap time in this house, they don't take 4 hour naps anymore.

All you need to do is twirl your hair and keep twirling until it's dry. Then separate and *poof* instant stripper curls destined to keep you employed.

 I followed these directions exactly.
I did use a hair dryer though.

This is a great idea, if you have naturally curly hair, that doesn't have a tendency to frizz or do whatever it wants.

I had a feeling this was going to be a bad idea, but I jumped in anyway.
I even used "curly hair mousse".

My hair normally is a frizzy hot mess, if I let it try all on it's own, without ANY assistance. 

I'm not sure that twisting into tight curls is the best way to cure this.

But I do this anyway.

I doubled up and did two curls on each side, rather than the one. Then I used my dryer.

Here are the curls dry. Almost dry. I don't have patience.

You are supposed to separate the curls piece by piece or you can toss your head upside down and shake.

Guess which method I chose?

Oh yeah. This is my "Ooooh, I'm impressed" face.
Stripper curls? I think not.
Maybe I could pull this look off if I needed to hit up the Walmart for a date?
Back to the bun I go.

Because that was such a huge fail, I decided to try one more hair thing.
This one involved sleeping on tiny buns and waking up to big beautiful curls.
I could get on that ride.

Easy enough, right?

Here are mine:
10 p.m. I'm ready to go to bed. Asked Jay to take my picture real quick and he spent 5 minutes trying to get me to yawn or make a weird face so he could capture the ugly on camera.

They were not uncomfortable to sleep on at all. I was very surprised by this. I thought that I would be up at 11 p.m. ripping these out of my head. But I didn't even notice them.

After sleeping. Not too bad. They held up well. I did use more than 1 pin though. Maybe my skills just aren't as good as hers. I needed 2-3 pins per roll.

After pulling out the pins, starting to loosen the rolls a bit.

POOF! A hair EXPLOSION! I'm guessing that if you already have naturally hair, as I do, then maybe this hairstyle just isn't for us. My hair is sooooo tightly curled I'm scared to touch it. It's going to suck my hand in and chew it off. It's so short now...I even scared my kids and now they want to "fix" my hair. It's seriously fluffy. I'm so jealous of the girl that can get big nice curls out of this, because it won't be me.

Maybe if I give it some time it will calm down?

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