Ridiculous

Ridiculous. I didn't plan that on being my word today.

But some days, life takes over, and this is just what happens.

This week has been ridiculous and I am done with it. Good thing it's Saturday.

Here, for your entertainment:

1.

My son Declan has been going through a phase of ripping off his diaper.

Most kids do this.

No big deal.

Just a little extra clean up when it comes with a bonus prize inside.

And when the bonus prize becomes a crayon.

This job should come with a hazmat suit.

It's extra annoying when it happens 3 times a day.

 

2.

Same son, from above, likes to jump around and play.

Sometimes that happens to be on your lap.

Sometimes you might be chewing on your cheek.

And then he jumps up and slams his head under your chin.

Because he has an abnormally large skull, you start bleeding.

Profusely.

From the inside your mouth after chomping off a chunk of skin.

And it keeps opening up for a few days because you can't stop chewing on that one sore spot.

Ouch...

 

3.

I hate spiders.

Who doesn't, right?

I've never met someone that was "pro" spider.

And if I did, I wouldn't like them just for that reason.

Here's what happened to me, just a few days ago:

 

This was me, typing away on the computer,

not even aware there was a threat dangling so close to my nappy hair.

And yes. My hair does look like that in real life.

It's chaos.

 

 

You know when you see something falling in the corner of your eye?

Most of times, I overreact to a random piece of fuzz and my husband thinks I'm nuts.

Not this time.

This time, I believe I reacted just fine.

 

Seriously.

Evan probably heard me at school, a mile away, and knew the exact reason for that scream.

Then I kept repeating, "NOPE, NOPE, NOT HAPPENING, NOPENOPENOPE!"

My twins just bolted.

They didn't know why they were running, but they knew to get the heck outta there.

Never seen those chubby legs move that fast.

 

This is what I wanted to do.

 

This is what I actually did.

Eventually.

Took me 10 minutes to gain enough courage to do it.

And the only reason it didn't take me longer was because the sucker started moving.

Skittering with his disgusting, knobby, spider legs across my ceiling.

Probably hoping to find a new spider hidey-hole.

Not happening. Not on my watch.

I stunned him with the Lysol, turned the vacuum on and sucked him up in it.

With all the extension tubes I could find, creating a 10 foot suction tube.

There needs to be a proper distance between me and that spider in case of accidental "falling".

Once I knew he was in there, I left that vacuum running for 5 minutes.

Just to be sure there were no spider legs trying to hang on in the tube.

Spider dead, house smells spring fresh and germ free.

I win.