Thursday, April 18, 2013

Pictures Please

*I wrote this blog post last night to post this morning. Not fixing it all. Enjoy.

My husband took me to dinner this evening at a delicious Mexican restaurant. It was yummy. Lots of cheese...

He also thought it would be "fun" to get us both margaritas.

"Fun" changed to "OMG, never again" once he realized that I don't drink. Ever. For a reason...or 6.

I'm obnoxious. I didn't even drink much of it. Like maybe a few sips. But it was apparently strong...really, really stronggggg. And because I don't drink, ever, it has hit me pretty hard.

I don't like to drink because it makes me feel out of control and I start to worry that something bad will happen and I will have a horrible reaction time. Plus, what's the point? I always end up with a headache...not worth it.

I drove my husband nuts. I'm actually still driving him nuts since this episode happened approximately 15 minutes ago.

Here's an example of tipsy Danielle:

Jalon: "Do you want to go to Dairy Queen and get a treat before heading home?"
Me: "DUDE! That sounds awesome. I'm so in. Ice creeeeeeaaaaaammmmm...."
Jalon: " probably don't need to drink ever again."
Jalon: "I can't take you anywhere..."
Me: "I want a chocolate shake thing."
Jalon: "I forgot they had Orange Julius here."
Me: "YUM. That sounds sooooo good. Is there milk in them? We should ask. I think there's dairy inside that. Dairy inside a Dairy Queen...imagine that. Orange juice and milk do NOT sound like a good combo. I wonder who came up with that idea. Bad idea. Still sounds good. I'm getting one next time. DID YOU JUST SEE THAT PICTURE THROUGH THE DRIVE THROUGH WINDOW?! WOW that's hilarious.* Ask that guy what's in an Orange Julius. I need to know."
Jalon: "You're drunk. And I think it's just a frozen Orange Juice."
Me: "I'm not even a little. Happiestly Anniversary to you too. And it's your fault. I was going to get a lemonade. And frozen Orange Juice sounds like the best idea ever."

*The picture was a girl, with a huge grin, using an orange cut in half to cover her eyes. It made me laugh, loudly.

And I'm still feeling a little tipsy which is why some of this may or may not be true. I can't remember anymore. It was fun. Lots of cheese. Like, on my burrito thing. I think it was swimming in it...

Because I'm feeling goofy, I decided to share some goofy pictures of me, while I'm feeling goofy enough to not be embarrassed by these. Feel free to laugh. I can't hear you anyway.

So, P can officially be for Picture day. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. I'm sorry about that. I'm too tipsy to write something worth reading.

Baby Picture.
I'm not sure why I look so startled.
I'm guessing my parents clapped and it scared the crap out of me.
Or maybe the giant flash of light blinded me like a deer caught in headlights.

Look, how adorable.
Little pumpkin head with the disappearing eyes.
My giant cheeks ate my eyes again!
I've had this problem for years.
Every time I've had to take a picture, the camera person says, "Open your eyes now."
Dude...that is open.
Back off.
I have a fluffy face.

Seriously. I'm sporting a mullet.
I have nothing to say except, "Thanks Mom!"
Although, it was the 80's, so she was just keeping me in style.

I'm the one with the attitude.
Want to know why I had attitude in this picture?
I can remember the exact detail that made me so pissed.
We were at Wisconsin Dells and I wanted to go down the water slides.
If you've ever been to Wisconsin Dells you know that you really ONLY go there for the water parks.
The water parks there are EPIC. At least, that's what my memory tells me.
Anyway, I really, really, really wanted to go to a water park.
But nooooooo.....
Because my sister was too little, she ruined it.
She ruined it all.
Until about 10 minutes later when I got over it.

I look fluffy and old.
Where did I get dressed that day?
My Grandpas closet?
Nice...thanks for letting me dress myself.
Apparently, my great clothing choices started at a young age.

Like the shirt?
The colors are spectacular.
And it was corduroy.
And my hair?
I did it.
All by myself.
Even the bangs. I was so proud of those bangs.
This shirts pattern reminds me of something...

This was from Glamour Shots.
I felt like a model that day.
When we walked through the door, I immediately saw this jacket and knew I had to wear it.
In fact, I think I tried to get my mom to buy me one just like it.
Sequins and stars? Most popular girl, here I come.
I'm going to guess that's the reason I was never popular.
Because I never had a jacket like that...figures.

This is what happens when you combine alcohol and hair dye.
Not together in that sense...I mean as in...forget it.
Just don't.
Don't do this. Ever.
I actually blend in with the wall.
You probably want to know why I have that expression on my face?
But really, it's just my face.

Since it was our anniversary, I had to dig out a wedding photo.
This is one of my favorites.
The garter removal.
Stay tuned.
Things can only go up from here.


  1. There is so much here to comment on. Oh gosh. I laughed so hard.

    1. Bangs. OMG those bangs.
    2. The garter shot - I know some people (one of my bridesmaids) think it tacky, but I super love the garter tradition, and I love your face in this reaction.
    3. P can certainly stand for photos. However. Since you went for Mexican food specifically, I feel obliged to tell you P could also stand for "Pisteando." Which is Mexican Spanish slang. It's a verb that means drinking, but not like, drinking water. It is very specifically drinking in a drunken kind of way.

    1. Wow. That is awesome and thanks for teaching me a new word. Although, since I'm sure that's the LAST time he'll ever take me there, I probably won't need it.

      The garter was something we had to do. I just don't remember why I was making that face...

  2. LOL omg you are funny. I don't drink because I become obnoxious too. I mean really bad like I want to pick a fight, obnoxious. Not a good thing. Love those pictures...we all have hilarious younger pictures.

    Dark Thoughts Blog

    1. Thanks! =) My husband had a good laugh at my expense last night.

  3. Haha! I love the pictures!! I have so many unfortunate photos from my youth, too. Including a glamour shot. Although, I didn't get anything nearly as awesome as that sequined jacket. SNAZZY!!

    Hope your head doesn't hurt too bad this morning. :)

    1. No, I didn't get too much in me. Just enough to become a complete nut. =)

  4. Danielle...I think Photos was a great choice for P!!! Oh you are so awesome, I have some amazing horrible photos that I could possibly share with you that would make all of those photos of you look like Glamour shots.... Oh my mother was so not a hair dresser so trust me those photos are much better than mine. Thanks for sharing your awesome for doing that, I love your wedding one that is awesome and because I know you and Jalon personally so it makes it even funnier for me....
    Oh and by the way I love love love your dress, I like it even more than my own wedding dress, why didnt I find that one LOL!!! I truly truly truly love your blog, I look forward to reading it and look forward to the sagas of your happy little clan/circus!

    1. Thank you! My dress was nice...but oh so tight! I couldn't sit or eat while wearing it. I felt like a princess that day. I'm glad you come by to read =) Makes my day to hear that!

  5. My husband's reaction when he sees a glass of wine in my hand: "Only one glass, right? A SMALL glass..."

    Because I'm not quite 5 feet and fairly small, and I don't drink a lot, and it goes straight to my limbs. And my mouth (as in I no longer have much of a filter and I also can't tell if I'm shouting).

    So I really appreciated this story :) Also, such hilarious and cute pics. The 80s one especially. I remember getting ready for something once with my cousin and sister; the bathroom became a fog of hairspray. But on purpose, because that's how you did your hair. You sprayed mega-hold hairspray into the air around you and walked through it. Right?

    1. Thanks! I still create a fog of hairspray. My husband just sits there and coughs.

  6. Love the bangs! Hair in the 80s and 90s was oh so fun!

    1. Totally! I don't think I miss it though.

  7. That's a riot! You are hilarious!

  8. Hysterical!!!!!!! I loved the photos too!!
    A to Z-ing to the end
    Peanut Butter and Whine

  9. Oh god this was so funny! Great photos, I should've dug mine out! I have some shockers though! Now following on bloglovin. Happy A-Z-ing!!

  10. "I'm too tipsy to write something worth reading."


    Also, I had a mullet for most of my childhood. Gotta love it.


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