Love my kids. I think I always say this right at the beginning of all my posts, just so no one gets confused.
When I was a little girl (8-9?), there were so many things I wanted to do with my life. Archaeologist, fashion designer, and an actress were all at the top of the list. (There are a hundred more but a bit embarrassing to list...like "supermodel". Reaching a total height of 5'6, there wasn't a whole lot of hope.) As I got older, I started to realise that I hated bugs (no digging in dirt for me please!), I had no fashion sense and I couldn't act to save my life.
So I decided to become a lawyer (alright, fine, pretty sure I wanted to become a meteorologist, geologist or work with the FBI also, but those were short lived when I realised I wasn't very good with math. Technically, I still want to work for the FBI, hopefully they see this and hire me immediately. For what? Don't care. But I'd make a great secret agent!). Turns out, Law school is expensive and it takes forever! (Darn Legally Blond for getting my hopes up! I should really stop watching TV.)
I tried college for a bit, didn't work out. I wasn't that motivated to study and attend class, because it was much more fun to party. After a few months, I was bored with not living my life and now had nothing to do.
What do you do when you can't pick a job or figure out your future?
Join the Military! Yea....awesome plan.
I actually spent 8 years in the Air Force, worked as a Jet Engine Mechanic and even decided to get married to my best friend. We had Evan and decided it was time to get out of the military and start living life where we wanted to, not where the military wanted us to. We both had plans to get jobs immediately as mechanics or something regarding aircraft. Turns out no one will hire a mechanic, with training, but no degree. Poop. This was a bad year for us and I'm going to skip over the rough parts for now. Maybe one day, I will revisit them, but it's not pretty.
A few more jobs popped into my head that I thought I would like to try. Private Investigator (darn Veronica Mars, best show ever though!), Forensic Anthropologist (Bones, another favorite show), and baking (I'm blaming Top Chef for this one). Like I said before, I really need to stop watching TV.
I finally picked a career (Paralegal) so then it was time for college and this started my first stint as a Stay Home Mom. Not a fan. I loved being with my son, but I missed making money, talking to adults and being more productive (and not in the laundry, dishes, cleaning kind of productive. I'm really good at doing other peoples work, but when it comes to my own...blah. No thanks). I obtained my degree as a Paralegal, obtained a great full time job and started my new life...again.
When all of a sudden- I was pregnant again. With twins this time. Awesome start in a new career field. Turns out I was high risk now and required wayyyyy too many doctor appointments. I couldn't keep up with my job and daycare was going to cost even more with 2 extra kids...like more than our house payment. I couldn't do it. Not that I didn't want to...more like we weren't going to be eating food if I continued working. And around month 7 or 8 of that pregnancy, I was really glad I wasn't working.
Stay at Home Mom time for me again. It was easier this time because I was so tired and my brain was completely fried after having 2 babies. My work load grew and I no longer desired human contact. Who wants to see people when you are lagging around 50 lbs of extra baby weight and the only things you want to wear are found in the workout section at Target.
After awhile, my husband told me I needed to get out more, so I started a part time job at a bookstore. Best idea ever! Who doesn't love books? And, I even made friends! (People actually like me? Holy crap...that's so cool! Well, at least they tell me they do...oh who cares! Close enough!)
I'm still not a 100% sure this Stay at Home Mom job is for me. I suck at cleaning ( stupid never-ending laundry. We need to invent disposable clothing. And now I realise that I suck at saving the planet.) I burn dinners (or turn them into a glue-like substance that could be used by NASA). My kids are never clean, hardly dressed and we don't venture out into the public a whole bunch (not sure if this is because I have social anxiety or because my kids tend to embarrass me whenever we leave the house...maybe both).
I love being here with my kids and now that we are all adjusted, I'm not sure I would want anything different (except for the FBI job). I don't think that I am the best at this job, it's frustrating, exhausting and it's never ending. I don't get lunch hours, everyone screams at me and wipes snot on whatever I happen to be wearing and I am sick of cartoons.
BUT, I love that I get to be here for their "firsts", I love our morning snuggles and it's wonderful to watch them learn something new. Plus, I have held on to my sanity so far!(My husband thinks otherwise. I would like to remind him that I could make Pot Roast for dinner every night).