Saturday, April 28, 2012

Will I ever learn?

So I had to head to the grocery store today and decided to go early, because I'm a coupon fanatic and want to get the goods before they are gone.

I get everyone dressed and start the car early, probably 9 a.m. I want to cry when I realise that it's raining. Actually, it's sleeting. Not that there's a huge difference when it's cold and wet. The kids are not fans of heading out early, who is when it's cold, wet and way too early to be grocery shopping?

I expected the crying/attitudes so it didn't shock me when they started getting upset before we even hit the car.

But, it's double coupon day I'm passing that up.

I think I'm adorable when I'm dumb.

They actually weren't too bad, if you don't mind screaming, yelling and pushing too bad.

We have to get the "car" cart because it's the only cart that has enough spots for all my kids. Evan sits in the car and the twins sit in the front two seats on the cart. I hate these carts. They are impossible to steer and there's not a lot of space inside for my food obsession.

The trip started out OK. I rushed through quickly, trying to grab what I needed before they kids flipped out. When all of a sudden, they flipped out! (I tried making this sound like I was surprised, but of course I knew that it was inevitable). The twins started to push each other, which resulted in a LOT of screaming and yelling.

While I was trying to stop the hair pulling and face slapping (Morgan is notorious for hair pulling), I ran over a display of granola bars. (This display had just been completed and the guy hadn't even left the aisle when I destroyed his hard work. He didn't even look at me. I think he may have been crying.)Evan said he tried to warn me about the incoming crash, but I couldn't hear him over Morgan screaming (think car alarm or tornado siren...decibel levels that will burn your ear drums).

After a temporary fix to the twin drama (it's called a bribe people) and cleaning up the granola bar mess, with constructive criticism from a 5-year old expert, ( I think I made it look even better...I should be getting paid for this crap), I start whittling down my list to the bare essentials just so I can get out of there.

Evan then tells me that he thought I looked like a "Terhog". His word, not mine. I asked him what a "Terhog" was and this was his description: "It's like a rhino that has horns like a llama and sees red so it can break it." Very flattering. Seriously, this kid has the best imagination ever. I'm betting that I have an author of some great fiction one day.

We finally make it out of there, alive (although, the cashier almost didn't survive because she told me my coupon wasn't going to work.)

I'm always amazed when people say "Aww...are they twins? (no, no they are not...I had two separate pregnancies and they just ended up being the same age. You do the math.) They are so cute!" (They can be for the most part. But today there was snot sliding down both faces, to the point where it even bubbled, add some old Pop Tart goo, Morgans nappy mullet and toss in old tear streaks, cuteness has evaporated.) Although, something about that mix makes me want to snuggle them even more.

Finally, we head back out into a delightful Minnesota spring and get back home.

I keep saying "never again" but obviously that can't be true. Stay at home Mom-remember? This is my life....and after reading these, I can't believe I don't curl up and cry more. =)

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