Saturday, April 14, 2012

Driving Rules: from me, to you. Use them. Please.

When I get into my car, and my sunglass go on, a new set of rules fall into place.

I tend to drive a little rough and sometimes faster than I should. Whatever. Not the point of this post.

Ok, so maybe I embellished a tiny bit when I said sometimes faster...maybe more like Fast and the Furious. I even pretend that I have a stick shift sometimes and I race everyone that sitting next to me at a stoplight. But no tickets or accidents (knocking on wood). Moving on...

I am not rude on the road (say something, I dare you), but I do have my own set of rules and they make perfect sense in my head.

For example, if there's an exit coming up and I'm in the correct lane to exit and you try to cut in front of me at the last minute, I will do my BEST to ensure that doesn't happen. I will drive next to you, indicate with hand motions and my car horn, that you will not be getting in front of me. Sometimes that doesn't work, but it still makes me feel better. I'm halfway crazy, it really doesn't take much. If you properly use your blinker and merge in enough time, that's acceptable.

I have come up with a set of rules that I feel that everyone should abide by to make my life much easier on the road. Hopefully, this won't be a problem. =)

   1. Move. If you are not going as fast/faster than I am, move. If you don't move, I will make you move. Trust me...I have my ways.
   2. Use your blinker. Not a techinical term, I get that. But you also get the point. If you do not indicate that you want over, I will not allow you over. In fact, I will do my best to ensure that you miss any exit you were aiming for. And I do this with glee and evil laughter.

   3. If you are going to drive slower than said speed limit, just save me the time and annoyance and DO NOT DRIVE. EVER.

Sometimes I wish that my car came with lasers, a dart gun or even a very loud annoying horn to scare the crap out of oblivious drivers that are doing anything but driving.

I put these rules out there for your safety. Because if I have to drive behind one more stupid, cell phone/texting, eating, picking their (enter any body part here because I've seen it all), I swear I may just go crazy and start slamming into other cars just for pure entertainment.


  1. Wow, I didn't think anyone had the same rules as I do! I like to call the if you aren't going as fast as me one "Get out of the lane if you can't hang"

  2. Oooh, that's a good one! No one likes my driving, but I can't seem to help it. I just like to drive fast.

  3. I've been thinking about making HUGE flash cards to keep in my car. "Your tail light is out" "Your rim is going to fly off your tire" or a more universal "WTF?" ;)

  4. I still ain't passed my test, but my fiance is like you on the road and he even has me kicking off and shouting several nasty things at stupid drivers lol

  5. I can't seem to help myself. I think it gets worse with age, because I don't appear to be getting any more patient.


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