Monday, January 7, 2013

This Mom is going on Strike.

Hey there blog friends!

I'm going on strike because I suck as a Mom.

Why do I suck?

Evan's homework, for one.

He's 5.

In Kindergarten.

And he has homework. Annoying homework that takes 3 people and a closet full of craft supplies to accomplish. Crap on toast, like I have time for this. I know, it's only going to get worse as he gets older. But I'm hoping he will be able to reach his own craft supplies and read directions on his own at some point. It takes quite a bit of time and it's hard to remember it after a long day/night that just won't end.

It didn't seem that challenging at first. The teacher sends home a worksheet and you have to pick 3 items out of 9 to do. But each item is a full out project and some require items I don't even own. Like a Magna-doodle. Yeah...I don't have one of those and I'm not buying one JUST for homework that no one else will see.

She sends the worksheets home on Mondays and they are due on Friday.

So Thursday night, at 7:55 p.m., I'm scrambling around the kitchen with Evan trying to finish this darn homework in time.

Mom fail.

Then I forget about his "book in a bag" that he brings home every other day. Crap again. We have to read through that and do the project that goes along with it. One of the project suggestions? Make sock puppets out of the characters in the story book and act it out.

This sounds like fun. Sock puppets freak me out. How many extra socks do I have lying around? Not enough.

Along with book in a bag, he has flashcards. I love flashcards.

Unless I'm doing them with Evan. Then a simple project turns into emotional turmoil.

He freaks out under pressure. By pressure, I mean my looking at him while waiting for his answer.

This is all his homework. They also check out a library book and we're supposed to read this one too, which isn't too hard, unless your child brings home a random library book that's titled "CRAFT NIGHT". Lots of stuff to do. I have a hard time remembering to do all of this.

Which is why Evan was sent home with a note about how homework is due EVERY FRIDAY and he has only brought in 8/10 homework sheets.

Damn. Poor kid. It's not his fault. It's the TEACHERS.

Ok...fine. It's probably...maybe, my fault. I know I'm complaining a lot, just go with it for now.

Second, my husband stole the keys to my car.

Maybe he didn't mean to, but either way, they are at work with him. And I like them. I've formed a special bond with my keys. We work together so well. I keep them safe and warm and they start my car for me when I need to go somewhere. They hold lots of pretty, scanny card things that I use often. And I had a remote start that came in handy when it was too cold for me to walk out the door to start my car. Poop.

He texted me and let me know I had a spare hanging up that had a yellow tag.

After spending 5 minutes trying to start my car, with no luck, screaming with frustration over being late to drop Evan off at school, I called Jalon asking why my car wouldn't start.

Turns out there are two yellow tags hanging up with spare keys attached.

Lucky me...I picked the wrong one.

The key that held the other yellow tag goes to a vehicle we don't even OWN anymore. Why do we still have the key hanging up? Seriously....I'm asking you.

Third, I'm no longer making dinners for this household.

Does anyone want me to come make dinner for their home?

I made a delicious beef stew last night. It was wonderful. Full of meaty chunks of...meat. And potatoes, carrots, a rich, thick, hearty broth and plus, warm, buttery dinner rolls.

It was soooooooooooo good. The beef was cooked to perfection. Filled me up, warmed me to my bones on this cold, winter evening.

Did anyone in MY home eat this? Or wait...I should say, did anyone in my home eat this WITHOUT gagging?

Nope. Morgan threw potatoes at me, Evan practically teared up when I made him take a bite (he barely licked his spoon) and Declan wouldn't even make eye contact with me. The other, full grown adult in the home, gagged down the meat, but not without slightly snide comments about how disgusting it was.


3 hours and $16.00 later, I'm throwing away beef stew that my family refuses to touch because it looks weird.

I'm not sure if I should keep punishing them by making "disgusting" dinners or just make them eat peanut butter and jelly every night.

And by "disgusting" dinners I mean this:

- Anything in liquid (soups and stews)
- Spaghetti
- Hot dish

Some days, it sucks being the person in charge of making meals that no one will eat.

Some days just suck in general.

I better get moving. We are out of wipes and I just know that someone is going to fill their diaper before I can get more.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Dee, yet again your crack me up, I have fallen a bit behind on reading your blog so I am reading from most current to where ever I last read.... Too funny I made a hamburger stew last night same as stew just with ground burger. Funny story my 8 year old loves loves loves to eat pretty much whatever I put infront of her, I love her and she is so complimentary of my cooking, she makes a mom feel good, untill she tells me its ok but it needs a little something, and she did this alot till one day I told her it hurts my feelings, funny she has quit telling me what I forgot to put in the food and just tells me it is great. My husband the only other person in my household that appreciates my cooking efforts is currently in another country. I am not allowed to tell him what we had for dinner, or breakfast or lunch ever he gets mad cause he is not here to enjoy it, lol!

      So then there is my 5 year old, she is not a fan of meat, and especially ground meat, shes so weird, doesnt like meat, whatever! So she totally ate all the potatos and asked for more so I fished out all the tators for her so I knew she would have a full tummy. My 4 year old, yes he just strainght up told me it was yuckly looking and he wasnt going to eat it, so he ate bread and butter. I on the other hand thought it was yummy and I will have it for lunch today as well. My dog Crosby sat at my feet and begged the whole time I ate, I know he would have loved it, but unfortunately for him he has put on his winter weight and the table scraps have come to a screeeeetching halt, poor pup!

  2. You are lucky to have a husband that appreciates your food. My husband appreciates the food I make when it's what he wants. Usually, that involves anything deep fried, covered in something spicy or rolled up in seaweed.

    If we had a dog in our house, it would the fattest animal ever. My kids would feed that thing everything they won't eat...which is everything I ever make.


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