Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Rules for those that "use" the gym.

We just signed up to join the YMCA (again) so we can run and get into shape until it's warm enough to run outside. I love running outside. It's been 6 degrees for a high lately, and while I do see people running outside during this, I'm not one of them.

I love the YMCA. I love how big it is.

There are many choices/options for all sorts of fun workouts. (Fun= hellish in this sentence.)

What don't I like?

People. (Yeah, I know, I don't like most people normally, so what makes this different? Just keep reading.)

This applies to every single gym I've ever been part of, but because the YMCA is a more popular/large facility, I think it happens more often here.

I made rules that I do believe everyone should have to follow.

Why did I do this? Am I boss of all the gyms? No, although I think I would make a good one.

I'm just fed up with it and need somewhere to express my sarcasm.

So here are some rules to make the gym more enjoyable for me and everyone else that wants to be part of it:

1. If you're at the gym- use the gym. I'm pretty sure I didn't just pay $105 per month to be part of Paris Fashion Week. I didn't see a red carpet or a runway when I first walked in. I also do NOT want to see your cleavage. Although, I'm betting my husband is thinking, "shuddup, if they want to show their cleavage, let them!" No. Girls, put your boobs away, take your makeup off (I know those eyelashes are fake! I can feel the breeze when you blink), put your hair up and break a sweat please.

2. If you hop on the treadmill next to me, you will suddenly be entered into a marathon race, where I will win at all costs.

3. Once again, if you are at the gym, use it. As in, if you can read a book, watch TV, or talk on the phone while working out, you're probably not doing anything beneficial. Why are you here again? If you don't leave the gym looking like someone beat you with a hot, wet towel, then just stay home. Please. I saw one girl walk around for a half hour like there was a photographer following her around. Didn't touch one machine the entire time, but darn it, she worked so hard to look so good.

4. Wipe down the machine. There are signs, sprays, towels to help this process and make it easier for you. I don't want my hands to slide around in your old sweat, especially when it was from your butt.

5. When running on the track (this has it's own special pile of rules):
            a. Please don't bump into me EVERY time you pass me. Or I end up slapping your balls on accident and no one wants that. I'm pretty sure it was his balls, since they were slightly squishy. Lucky me.
            b. There's a daycare downstairs. A great one that's free! Use. It. Please. I usually love kids, until I almost ran over a tiny 1 year old jogging around the track like a lost bunny.
            c. If you are there just to walk around the track, please, please, please, stick to one side. Doing the "where you going" dance EVERY time I have to lap you, gets annoying and it is very distracting.

These reasons are why I now run on the treadmill. I couldn't take it anymore. The track was one of the reasons I chose the YMCA and now I'm not even going to use it. Guess who's not happy? Big surprise, huh?

See? I should be the boss over all gyms.

Sorry it's been so long. I have no excuses. I've just been lazy.

I'm allowed a little bit of lazy...

I made this:

It's a bracelet. It was lots of fun to make and I was so unsure about it, but I have lots of great friends on Facebook that were very helpful and I decided to keep it.

Have a good rest of the week!


  1. ...kinda hoped you were gonna sell that bracelet. :)

    1. I have lots left to make more, I'm just trying to make them better than this one so I can sell it! I will post on Facebook when I finish. =) I'm surprised people want one! When I finished it, I was so unsure about it.

  2. That bracelet is really truly awesome. Do you have supplies to make more? Because I'm betting you could totally sell them.

    Lists! I heart lists. This is a good one. I always get angry at the makeup'd girls at the gym. What are they doing!? But I rationalize if they're showing off that much boobage that they're probably not getting the support they need to be jogging, and so in a few years they won't be wanting to show off their saggage anymore. I might as well let them have their day. :)

    1. I do and I'm going to try and see how it turns out.

      I'm a little jealous of the cleavage because mine is sadly lacking. But I also dress like it's bedtime when I go to the gym and I wish other girls would have the same consideration so I don't end up looking so dumpy.

  3. Danielle you crack me up, 99.9% of your post are in some way my very thoughts with a slight twist or tweak. I have recently made a life changing move in my life, not sure if it is life changing for me or for my children, I am assuming only time will tell. As of this past Monday I am a stay at home mom, yes yes I did just spend two years busting my @$$ going to school and graduating with honors to turn around and stay home with my children. Lol I figure you busted your butt going to school and getting a degree so you could raise your children as well, LOL, I will put my degree to work in its true manner some day, but untill then I am now home with my three amazing children.

    So my husband as you know is over seas, so we decided my chilren need me home to make up for the loss of daddy being gone, especially because it seems he will be doing another year. So anyway totally off track there lol, back to your post, I too have a gym membership at Golds Gym, yes I know totally over rated gym and there isnt even an indoor track or a lap pool but it does have childcare which is totally why I joined there, I have a perfectly good, brand new base gym with an indoor track but nooooooooooooooo childcare so I joined Gold's. Guess how many times in my two year membership I have actually gone! They sooooooooooo suckered me they made $1000.00 off of me what a fool I am, and now that I dont work I could go to the gym, but guess what my membership is up next month! haha yes call me a sucker, its okay! My goal was met last year I ran a 5k, this year my goal is not so specific, no number set but I would like to run as many as I can possibly run, and I have a group of girls that I have met from that wonderful job of mine that I just quit that want to run with me so we will see how that goes.

    I too have an issue with my 8 year old putting her boogies on the wall, which I guess in my opinion is better than what my 5 year old does with hers, yes oh yes she sure does, she "EATS" them, so freaking gross, I have told her that it is gross and I truly would rather she wipe them on the wall in that case but it is a battle I will lose untill one day she realizes that it is gross. Fortunately my 4 year old has not yet been caught doing anything unsightly with his boogies, but Im sure it is only a matter of time, ha!

    Oh yes and that braclett is totally cute, I am not one for wearing accessories, I love to window shop, but I am really just a plain jane, and the one time I would wear it I would probably snag my nice shirt or something, but if I was to wear accessories that would be something I would choose. It is pretty, and due to the fact that I was too once a mechanic it is right up my alley

    Thanks again for sharing your life with us, it is enjoyable, and I enjoy it even more because I know you personally. Some blogs I read I can get a good chuckle out of but because I know you and your hubby it is much more enjoyable!

    1. Well, welcome to the Stay At Home Mom Club! It's one of the most annoying/rewarding clubs to be part of and we're happy to have you!

      I'm sorry your husband is so far away for so long. Hardest gig in the world, I'm sure. Parenting is hard enough as it is.

      Gross on the boogies. Although, I'm starting to wish Morgan would go after her own. I'm stuck digging out boulders that take up her whole nostril and it's disgusting.

      I don't wear jewelry often enough either, but making it to suit me seems to be much more enjoyable. I can't even wear my wedding ring regularly yet. I'm too used to not wearing it and it just drives me nuts.

      And I'm glad to share my life with the world, but I'm sure most of it, people would have been better off not knowing! =)


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