Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Today is different. Today we will never forget.

I wasn't quite sure I wanted to post this. Everyone has a story, about where they were and what they were doing today.

9/11 is a date that remains locked in my memory perfectly. It breaks my heart when I think about all the people that had to go through this in New York and the ones that lost family members. I can't imagine...

There are moments when you just want to grab your kids and spouse and lock yourselves in your room for the day. Just to be thankful that you still have each other and are able to be together.

I don't usually have such a hard time with words but today I'm struggling.

All over Facebook, you can see people that remember, people that would rather not remember, and people telling others where they were that day and what they were doing.

I'm going to put it up here because this is the day I remember better than I remember my own wedding day. Probably because I was terrified. (I was a little bit terrfied on my wedding day, but it passed quickly).

I was in the military. I had just signed up that past May. I was finished with Basic Training and had started Technical School for my job training, located in Texas and we were in class that morning.

I remember that we were working on an engine for class, when someone came over and told us a plane crashed into a building. There was no panic at this point. Not yet. There weren't TV's, just word of mouth. We heard of plane crashes often because we are the mechanics and they tell us so we know how important our job is. No one knew what kind of aircraft or what this meant. We had no idea.

It happened quickly after that. The panic set in. They didn't tell us much. It was "grab your shit and line up". So we did. We lined up at the door and our instructors weren't there anymore. It was unusual to be on our own since we usually had someone there telling us what to do next. All of a sudden, someone came out and gave us a quick briefing about how we needed to get back to our dorm rooms immediately. As quickly as we could.

I had no idea what was going on, but I remember being terrified.

We usually marched, in formation, back to our dorms. This day, as we were marching, an instructor was with us and told us to start running until we reached our dorms. At first I thought he was joking. But then he started to yell at us and told us to get back as quickly as possible. And we did. I ran as if someone was chasing me, scared half to death, to the point where you don't even feel your legs moving anymore and wonder if you'll trip and fall.

To this day, I have no idea why they made us run.

I made it back to my dorm and went to our tiny common room to watch the TV. That's when I noticed what was going on. We all sat there in shock for hours. I don't remember if we ate, I don't remember if we talked. Lots of shock and lots of tears. I remember trying to call home. I talked to my Mom. When I first joined the military, my Mom wasn't thrilled but she was relieved that I went in when it wasn't during a war. After talking to her that day, I remember her being worried I was going to be sent somewhere dangerous for awhile. I didn't have a clue what was going to happen and I started to get nervous too.

(But I was a mechanic on jet engines in the Air Force. We didn't deploy as often as others did, maybe we weren't needed as much? I spent 5 years in California and another 2 in Nebraska.)

9/11 is an emotional day still, 11 years later. I can't believe it's been that long. It feels like it happened last year.

I watch the footage they show, every year, on TV.

I'm in shock, every year, over what I see.

I cry, every year, over the loss of families, loved ones and children.

I can't imagine how hard it was for those that lost a loved one that day. Or families wondering if their loved ones were safe or not. Moving on after this happened would have to be hard as well.

I don't think you ever forget. No matter what you were doing or where you were this day. It's hard to talk about, to write about and to remember. But ignoring it, doesn't make it go away. I'm had another post I meant to put on here today but I couldn't do it. Today is different. And while I'm still going to spend my day, cleaning house and taking care of my kids, in the back of my mind I will remember today, 11 years ago and it will still bring tears to my eyes.

Don't ever forget. Remember those, that risked all to save/help others. Those are the true hero's that I want my kids to know. Not the Spiderman, Superman or Batman ones, but the real ones that actually risk their lives to save others. Those are the ones that make a difference in our world.

I'm sorry this isn't my usual humorous post. Hope you like it anyway. =)

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