Retro Housewife cookbook from the 40's/50's.

I stole took borrowed inherited some old cookbooks from my Parents that had once belonged to my Grandparents and at first was enthralled at how people lived/entertained and fed their families. Then I looked at the recipes.

I was grossed out.

I even threw up a little, right in the back of my throat.

I find it very interesting and a little funny how a housewife lived and cooked then and some of it was just begging to be shared. I may be the only one that finds these funny, but mostly because of how I live and cook for my family in 2012 compared to 1940-50.

I separated it into 4 categories; Recipes, Preparation/Entertainment, What the Hell? and I would actually do this. A couple pictures wanted to go into more than one category but unfortunately What the Hell? became a bit too crowded. I didn't think it was fair to the rest of them.

So here are the books I looked through and found the MOST entertaining/disgusting.

I really wish I was/had been closer to my Grandparents because I now have about a million questions that I really, really, really would like to ask.

First of all, did Breakfast REALLY look like this?

MY breakfasts consist of Cheerios stuck to the table, milk spilled on the floor and grape juice stains that don't come off until afternoon time. Pretty Breakfasts my ass.

My first category consists of Recipes.

*Warning* These recipes were picked because they gross me out. If you throw up on your computer/cell phone, you cannot blame me. What would further shock me is if someone admits they would/did eat these.

I have also warned my husband that if I get angry, he may find me creating a random recipe for dinner one night. Once you read them, you will realize how horrifying of a threat that actually is.

I don't know if you can see this. But it states that the flavor is developed by first sauteing the uncooked macaroni in hot fat. I'm scared of hot fat. I don't think I want to consume it. What the heck is hot fat? I know that people use butter/shortening/oil as fat now. But could you just buy a can of Fat from the grocery?

These are a few recipes for sandwiches, just in case you wanted to try something new. My favorite has to be the peanut butter mixed with dill and pickles. Doesn't that sound...tangy?

Really? This doesn't need any more words. But it says to stuff the squirrel and truss as a bird. I shuddered a bit at the thought of doing that.

This is gross. That's all. Just plain icky.

 

Here's that darn hot fat again. Bleh. It has cabbage so my Dad will probably make this one. Let's see if he actually reads my blog. I can see him saying something like, "I don't eat hot fat. Maybe if you used olive oil?"

My next section I've titled Preparation/Entertainment. Otherwise known as, I wish.

This is cute. A FULL out schedule for a dinner at 6. It even was thoughtful enough to include a tiny bit of free time. I could use my free time to get that darned laundry done. Thank goodness they put that there. Otherwise I would have just stood there and stared off into space until my next step came up. Now I can fill my free time with useful things. Like washing dishes.

Oh crap! How DARE they suggest I even do this! Entertain without a maid...that's just hilarious. I have things to do! Like stand there. With a drink in my hand AND look pretty. That's multitasking folks. Who else is going to do that? NO ONE I tell you.

Here's the next section, aptly titled What the Hell?

"The Fourth Meal"? Thank you for introducing us to dessert after bedtime and extra belly flab. I love the part where it says, "For breakfast, lunch and dinner you eat the things you think you should eat. But in between, you eat the things you like." Sure. That's a fantastic idea. Because I LIKE, donuts, ice cream, candy bars, Popsicles, potato chips, cookies....

This pictures is kitchen tools you should have on hand. Otherwise known as "Walk into my kitchen and I will harm/kill/maim you with the following implements." This looks like a medical book...

This part talks WAY too much about your digestive health. "Liquid foods, foods containing meat-juices or fruit acids are likely to encourage quick passage of food along the digestive tract." Or, eat this and you will poop right after. And There's a part my finger is pointing too that says "excessive fermentation". What the hell is that? Gut rot?

I really hope you can't read this. There was a recipe for Turtle soup on the next page. This section describes, in detail, how to "prepare" your turtle for the soup. If you can actually EAT the soup after doing what it states on this page, you may not be human. Poor, poor turtle.

Wow. It's a complete dinner in a jello mold! How exciting! You can see the noodles suspended in jello with peas in the middle. I'm so hungry right now. I must have a giant slab of that crap jiggling on my plate. It even says that it is the "delight of family and friends". Oh yes, delightful indeed.

Ooooh here's one with cabbage. Sounds crunchy and jiggly...how many meals can say the same?

You want the recipe now, don't you? Too bad. I'm hoarding it so I can make it for the next family

get-together. Everyone has to have a secret recipe, right? It's MINE!

Finally, I did actually find some things I may do someday. It's rare, but there's a chance I may get creative and bored in the same day.

This was actually a cute idea. Not for bed, but fun for a picnic in the living room maybe. But I would need 3 clean muffin tins and that's just not going to happen. For some reason mine are all rusted and beat up. They would be ok for my kids to eat out of, but I'm a little more picky.

Bacon Waffles. Seriously? I'm so in. I love the lumberjack dude too. Best idea they have come up with so far. Who knew that combining bacon IN your waffle would work? Yum.

I love looking through these books. It was so difficult to narrow it down to just a few disgusting options when there were so many! I picked the best, just for your viewing pleasure.

If you need any recipes, just let me know.

There's actually a tiny, small part of me that would like to try one. Just to see how it turned out.

 But not that peanut butter and pickle one. That can be left alone to die. Ew.