Monday, November 3, 2014
My Overflowing Plate- Not Overflowing with Joy.
Halloween is OVER! (We had fun. I think. No pictures, sorry. My fingers were frozen together and my eyeballs would no longer roll around in their sockets. It was 30 degrees out. But we have enough candy to rot out all our teeth, so apparently, it went well. Except for Evan. The very first house we went to was handing out cans of pop and giant bags of Bugles. He turned away, rejected and said, "I am not allowed any of that." Declan however, pounced on the can of pop, knowing what a special treat it was. He was allowed a small cup of it. I'm not that mean.)
We are gearing up for a craft sale in December at our Church. I'm trying to help organize it and realizing that I'm SO out of my element! Here I thought it was just "put crafts on table and sell". But no. Turns out it's MUCH more than that! There are many details that we have to account for that I did not think about. I have 3 separate to-do lists just for this event. And, thanks to Pinterest, hours of research on how to make it perfect.
Not only am I helping organize, but I'm also trying to donate crafts I've made. I just have to finish making all of them. And I probably would finish, if I didn't keep piling more and more on top. I keep adding more because I'm scared we won't get enough donations to make it worth it. Here I am, not only knitting ruffle scarves, but making chalkboard signs, chalkboard gift tags and steampunk jewelry. I need help. Mental help, not crafty help.
And, now that Halloween is "officially" over, apparently Christmas can start. Well, according to all the commercials we've seen anyway.
I'm SO NOT ready for that yet.
I'm about ready to keep the TV off just so I'm not thinking about all the Christmas gifts I need to start buying and hearing my kids ask, over and over again, for EVERY SINGLE toy that comes on the TV.
Even though I told myself (and my kids) over and over again that we will NOT be talking about Christmas gifts until after Thanksgiving to THINK about Christmas gifts, I received a toy catalog with coupons in it from Target. I couldn't resist! I had to go through it, cut the coupons and start my list for the kids. (My crazy thought process told me that these items would not be on sale forever and I should pounce on the opportunity to pay less and be able to find exactly what I'm looking for early. Plus, if I just get it over with, I can stop thinking about it, right? Except that my kids change their minds OFTEN and I still end up making myself crazy with Christmas gifts...)
Why do I do this to myself?
What the heck am I trying to prove?
I worry. I stress. I suffer from anxiety over things that are not real.
Because I keep piling crap on my plate and shoving more information into my already messy head, I am now sick.
My body completely shut down on me yesterday. Couldn't even get out of bed. My body ached, my head was pounding and I was running a fever.
So I had no choice but to just sit there and watch TV and sleep.
And instead of just relaxing, I made myself crazy with all the things I SHOULD have been doing instead.
I realized that I keep filling my plate over and over again, with things that just don't matter!
Yes, there's a large event coming up in December, but if I learn to rely on others and God, I don't need to carry the weight of this responsibility on my own.
Christmas is coming up and it does get stressful, but instead of focusing on getting the perfect gifts, I should focus on enjoying the season itself. I should put my focus on God and help my kids understand the importance of the season. (Hint: It's not the gifts.)
Now, I'm going to work on getting healthy again and use this opportunity to push away the joy-stealers in my life and refocus on what's important. And I love this verse as a reminder:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that no even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you-you of little faith? So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need the. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:25-34