I've invented the best device ever.
I will be a hero for coming up with this.
Get my autograph while you can, because I'm about to be famous.
It all started this morning when I bent my Swiffer Sweeper.
Almost broke it in half.
You might be wondering how the heck I managed to do that.
Well, I can tell you that it wasn't from my vigorous cleaning efforts.
(HAHA, so funny!)
I had a spider to kill and that was the nearest item I could find that would allow me to keep my distance and still kill the ferocious beast.
It worked well, minus the bent portion.
BUT, because my Swiffer is now bent, I had to come up with a solution that would allow this device to assist in the killing of insects AND still allow me to sweep the kitchen, when there are approximately 6 meals coating my floor:
Allow me to introduce the Swiffer Spider Killer:
(And yes, in case you were wondering, I was the original artist of this drawing.)
A. Comes with a poison sprayer to "stun" the spider into submission. Always start with this.
B. The Flat squisher, to destroy all movement of spider. Permanently. Run it over, repeatedly, until it's in pieces all over the floor.
C. The Vacuum/Incinerator chamber. I wanted to rid my house of the bug, without ever having to come in contact with it's many legs. This device, will not only suck it up, but burn it as well.
D. The magic button that will set the bugs on fire. Just in case they weren't "dead" enough.
Don't want any zombie bugs coming back to life...
Now, tell me, doesn't that sound like a household necessity?
I thought so.
I went to Kohl's today.
(Sorry Jalon...let me explain first!)
I received a 30% off in the mail and, by LAW*, I am required to use it.
It was going to expire today so I thought I should make sure there was nothing I needed.
Well, it's a good thing I went!
I found a new pair of shoes for HALF OFF.
And, because I wouldn't be me without impulse purchases, I bought this:
He's stationed on our toilet.
He has a motion sensor that knows when you sit down to "go".
Then he either loudly talks or breaks out in song, thus scaring the actual poo out of the person.
And he has a clever way of using potty humor.
Who doesn't like potty humor?
Insane people, that's who.
I'm in love with him.
I'm slowly introducing Jalon to Halloween this year, by making super tiny purchases here and there.
He hasn't said much so far, but I'm willing to bet he won't be able to ignore this one.
Every single person in this house will hear when you sit down on the toilet.
I've gone 6 times in the past hour, just to hear him crack bathroom jokes.
Totally worth it.
I can't wait until Evan decides to pee in the middle of the night...
*insert evil mom laugh here*
*LAW- which is actually just the law I made up in my head to justify going shopping because I had a coupon and having a coupon makes it worth it, even though my husband tells me it's never worth it, unless it's free. Pretty sure he's joking. (Right?)