If you don't know me at all or very well, you may not know that in social situations I get very anxious. It doesn't matter if I've known you for awhile or not. My hands go numb, my stomach gets those nervous cramps and I sweat like I'm running a marathon. (This made dating especially awesome.)
I get anxious around people because I am not a talker. As an introvert, I prefer to watch rather than join in. Also, I tend to say the wrong things at the wrong time. All the time.
But because I'm tense during these conversations, I love to add humor to "lighten things up a bit" or if I make them laugh with me, at least it won't be at me.
Unfortunately, my humor is seriously awkward and this whole thing ends up being one vicious circle.
I hate talking because I'll say something awkward, but I think if I add humor it will make it less awkward, but I end up saying the wrong thing and make the situation even more awkward than it needed to be in the first place.
I know, right?
Welcome to my head.
So, onto the story that made me explain all this crap in the first place.
Today we went to the gym. And since I'm posting this tomorrow morning, I'm talking about Monday. I should just erase this and say "When I went to the gym on Monday" but I'm lazy.
Keep reading. I swear it will get better than this.
Anyway, after doing my workout, I went to the daycare area of the gym reluctantly to retrieve my 3 kids. There was another Mom there doing the same thing and her son was around the same age as the twins. (2 years people, keep up...) He had a particular attachment to Morgan and kept trying to give her a hug. (She has my looks, so it's no surprise he wanted to hug her. See, I'm totally funny, right?)
Unfortunately for him (and her future spouse), Morgan is not a hugger. So it was no surprise when she was less than thrilled when this boy grabbed her from behind and squeezed her. For awhile.
The other Mom was trying to convince her son that a 5 second squeeze was probably good enough, but he wasn't done.
She was smiling at me when she said, "He is giving her quite the molesting hug there."
I decided to add to the conversation this interesting little tidbit, "I'm pretty sure that's the only way boys know how to hug."
The conversation ended after that. I'm not sure she even appreciated my attempt at being humorous.
She wouldn't even make eye contact with me after that.
I thought I was hilarious!
There's more where that came from, I can assure you. Stick around and I'll either make you laugh or make you want to run for your life.
It's surprising that I don't have more friends.