Wednesday, March 27, 2013

My son is turning into a vampire. Probably.

Or at least he thinks it's a possibility.

We had an awesome conversation the other day after I picked him up from school. Since I'm nice, I will share it with you:

Evan: "Mommy, today "Sarah" told me that her brother is turning into a vampire!" I'm using the name Sarah because I have no idea who he was talking about. I only pay attention to the funny parts.

Me: "What? How does she know that?"

Evan: "Because he hit one."

Me: "Yeah..." Pretty sure that's not how it works. At least not according to my expert opinion. And by expert opinion, I mean because I watch True Blood. "So now he's a vampire?"

Evan: "Yup!"

Me: "How did he hit one?" Seriously, this has to be much harder than it sounds. They are super fast. Once again, using True Blood as a reference point here or maybe Twilight. It's so hard to keep track.

Evan: "I think it was with a club or something."

Me: "Wow...that's pretty advanced for a kid."

Evan: "Now everyone at school wants to be a vampire. Sarah wants to become one so she used marker to color her eyebrows blue."

Me: "Dude. Why blue? Her eyebrows?" Her Mom must be pissed. At this point I'm so lost, I don't even know what questions I should be asking. But if I keep him talking, eventually it will all pour out, like hilarious vomit that I will write down just to use on here. I'm all about sharing the laughter.

Evan: "Mommy, you know that a vampires favorite color is blue. That's why she did it. So she could be a vampire now too." See what I mean? I learn something new everyday. I had no idea that vampires favored blue.

Me: "Do you even know what a vampire is?"

Evan: "Not really...but it's a monster thing. I think."

Me: "Well, they aren't real."

Evan: "I know that. But "Sarah's" brother doesn't. Because now he is one."

Me: "I don't think he is one. He's probably just weird."

Evan: "That's good. Because I don't want to be one. I don't like blue."

I think that the color blue should be the least of your worries.

I'm glad he had enough sense to not try to color his eyebrows. I feel bad for that Mom.

My husband will probably say something like, "This is what happens when your Mommy spends a lot of time watching Twilight and True Blood." (In my defense, I don't watch in front of my kids. Don't judge me people.)

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