Thursday, March 28, 2013

Click here for some motivational pictures...with my sarcastic comments added for free!

It's your lucky day.

I hunted/scoured/searched all over the Internet to find you the BEST motivational posters.

Then I added my own sarcastic comments below each one for your pleasure. Or mine.

Side note: If you are offended easily or don't like sarcasm, please don't continue. Sometimes I just like to be funny. Or maybe not so funny, as my husband puts it. Whatever.

I don't understand how this is supposed to motivate me to do something.
It's like they don't know me at all.
I prefer nothing.
Sounds a lot safer to me.
I'm all for those consequences.

I don't see plastic surgery on that list.
That's the only way I'll ever have perfect abs.
Or when they get rid of all the Oreo cookies from this planet.
Whichever happens to come first.
Noooooo! Who told you?!
I like the sound of those odds.
How is this supposed to motivate you?
Once again, doesn't that sound nice and safe?
I don't like change.
I'll have some nothing please.
With an extra side of nothing.
I'm now the most boring person you've probably ever met, right?
I'm OK with that.

I'm pretty sure that if I had a twin, I would be labeled as the "evil" one.
Therefore, I already win.
Another side note: How creepy do you have to be to imagine this scenario and get motivated by it? Weirdo.
Is the reward vomit?
Because that's coming up next.
Get it? Coming up...haha!
I'm hilarious.
Pretty sure if I'm in pain and hurt, and it's not childbirth, I quit.
And the only reason I didn't quit childbirth, is because there's not much of a choice once you get started.
Or else I would quit that too.
That's an interesting way of putting it.
"That person is sure dedicated to taking pictures of me through my window."
Or, "I love the way you are so dedicated to following me around and sending your toenails in letters to me. Most lazy people would never put forth this much effort to creeping me out."
I'm guessing this isn't what they meant when this poster was made.
I can always turn something meant to be motivational into something creepy.
It's just how I roll.

How many is it going to take?
Because after about 50 of these, my mood is still not that great.
You know what's even more simple?
Sit yo' ass on the couch.
Doesn't even require pants.
Or shaving your legs.

Or so creeped out they want to run away from you.
Maybe my "happy" is different from your "happy"?
This must be my happy face:
That's all I have to motivate you for today.
Hope this helps you sit on the couch more and relax a bit.
Chillax dude.
(Spellcheck hates the word chillax, but I've seen it on the Internet, so I know, for sure, it's a real word. Spellcheck is also mad at "creeped". Don't care. I do what I want.'re crazy.)
There's always tomorrow.
Yeah, yeah....shut up already.
I say that everyday.
You think you would just ignore me by now.

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I LOVE comments...except bad ones. You can keep the bad ones. Or maybe disguise them as nice ones. I know people that are really good at that.