3 years ago, today, that was my belly.
This was Jay and I on the way to the hospital to remove the two giant "tumors" growing inside.
When I wore that shirt into a store or a restaurant, I would get so many questions and stares.
I think I made some people nervous.
I'm pretty sure it's rare for babies to just fall out of people, but you would have thought that was going to happen with the way people were watching me.
I waited 38 weeks to give birth to those babies.
They started asking me if I was ready at 35 weeks.
I kept saying, "When it's time, they will let me know."
At 38 weeks, I was done.
Wayyyy too much discomfort and pain.
I had to serve them with the eviction notice and get them out.
We went in with "faked" contractions, only to find out I was actually in labor.
I just didn't know it yet.
A few hours later, thanks to a nice, quick C-section, we had two beautiful, very healthy, babies.
And one exhausted, delusional mommy.
I don't remember much from that first day.
Not exactly surprising, I was so worn out from all the meds.
I remember being terrified about having to take home these two babies.
This was going to be so different from before.
When you take home your very first child, it feels amazing, but scary.
I was responsible for this tiny, sweet, precious life, all by myself.
It was all so new.
Every single moment was a tiny bit of fear mixed with so much joy.
With Evan, I remember thinking, "I can't believe the nurses are just letting me walk out of here with him. I have no actual experience with children and now I have to keep this one alive? What do I do and how am I supposed to know how to do it?"
But with the twins, it was a different fear.
With one child, things seem much more manageable.
It was hard, but it was just one baby.
One life depending on me.
With two babies, depending on me solely, it seemed overwhelming.
As if one would be neglected over the other.
When both started crying, how would I manage?
We must have done something right, since they are still here, alive and well.
People with twins kept telling us that the first 3 years are the hardest.
It will get easier once they are older.
I'm not 100% sure that's true.
We had amazing babies.
It was hard, I'm not going to lie.
But we had a lot of help from family and our twins were very easy-going babies.
Now that they are turning 3, I can tell you it's hard still, just in a different way.
Potty training for one, is taking its toll.
I thought I had it hard when I had one...now doing two at the same time is proving to be an extreme challenge that should be reserved for a game show where you receive a monetary award at the end.
Not that I don't miss these moments, holding tiny sweet babies in my arms.
Rocking them to sleep, or smelling that brand new baby smell.
These are my last babies.
I don't get to have anymore.
Not that my husband would allow that to happen anyway.
Happy Birthday Babies!
You are no longer my babies and that breaks my heart, but still fills me with joy to see how wonderful you are growing up and what kind of people you are turning into.
I'm so lucky to be your Mommy.
We have been so blessed.