Elf on the Naughty Shelf

This is the time of year when you are filled with cheer, joy and endless greed.

Wait...what?

Did you say GREED?

Noooo...

Never.

My kids have been getting a little "greedy" this Christmas and I thought it was about time to put a stop to it. And since I'm not "cool" to listen to anymore, the Elf decided it was time to step in.

Yesterday, Alfred (our house elf-not in the cool Harry Potter sense, but the creepy Christmas sense) noticed that Evan only looks for him to see if he left any gifts for them that day. Upon noticing there was no gift for him, just a cute sleeping elf, Evan was upset. He said it was boring when he didn't leave presents.

I see.

Then Evan returned home from school and decided that, instead of doing what his Mom told him (throw laundry down the chute...seriously. Hard stuff here.) he was going to play his video game.

After all that drama, we had to do a spelling test for Evan so he was prepared for school the next day.

That was apparently, the last straw for Evan.

"I wish I wasn't born in this house." He told me, with his hands in angry little fists.

My heart broke in a million pieces. The more rational part of me was angry. But deep down inside, still hurt that he would say that. I know that's #1 out of a million horrible things he will probably say to me in his lifetime, but I had no idea how much it could actually hurt.

Boo.

He said it, because, according to him, I gave him too much to do that day and he was tired out from school and should be allowed to come home and play on his video game after a long day.

Right.

I forget how hard your life REALLY is. If he thought having a quick spelling test and throwing laundry down the chute was too stressful, I can't wait until he sees his new chore chart.

Mean Mommy won this round. Actually, Alfred stepped in with a letter, informing the kids that being disrespectful to your parents is bad and he brought them new chore charts. ALL OF THEM. They have to complete EACH AND EVERY item, EVERY DAY, if they want the Elf to stay in our home.

We'll see if his plan works out.

Evan also told me today, that kids he knows are starting to tell him Santa doesn't exist and isn't real.

Damn.

I'm not ready for this yet. He told me he still believes and he's going to ask Santa to help the other kids believe as well.

I used to think that life would get easier as the kids got older. I was so wrong. It's still really hard, just in a different way than I thought.

I could really use that parenting book now...anyone ready to share?