Elf on the Naughty Shelf

This is the time of year when you are filled with cheer, joy and endless greed.

Wait...what?

Did you say GREED?

Noooo...

Never.

My kids have been getting a little "greedy" this Christmas and I thought it was about time to put a stop to it. And since I'm not "cool" to listen to anymore, the Elf decided it was time to step in.

Yesterday, Alfred (our house elf-not in the cool Harry Potter sense, but the creepy Christmas sense) noticed that Evan only looks for him to see if he left any gifts for them that day. Upon noticing there was no gift for him, just a cute sleeping elf, Evan was upset. He said it was boring when he didn't leave presents.

I see.

Then Evan returned home from school and decided that, instead of doing what his Mom told him (throw laundry down the chute...seriously. Hard stuff here.) he was going to play his video game.

After all that drama, we had to do a spelling test for Evan so he was prepared for school the next day.

That was apparently, the last straw for Evan.

"I wish I wasn't born in this house." He told me, with his hands in angry little fists.

My heart broke in a million pieces. The more rational part of me was angry. But deep down inside, still hurt that he would say that. I know that's #1 out of a million horrible things he will probably say to me in his lifetime, but I had no idea how much it could actually hurt.

Boo.

He said it, because, according to him, I gave him too much to do that day and he was tired out from school and should be allowed to come home and play on his video game after a long day.

Right.

I forget how hard your life REALLY is. If he thought having a quick spelling test and throwing laundry down the chute was too stressful, I can't wait until he sees his new chore chart.

Mean Mommy won this round. Actually, Alfred stepped in with a letter, informing the kids that being disrespectful to your parents is bad and he brought them new chore charts. ALL OF THEM. They have to complete EACH AND EVERY item, EVERY DAY, if they want the Elf to stay in our home.

We'll see if his plan works out.

Evan also told me today, that kids he knows are starting to tell him Santa doesn't exist and isn't real.

Damn.

I'm not ready for this yet. He told me he still believes and he's going to ask Santa to help the other kids believe as well.

I used to think that life would get easier as the kids got older. I was so wrong. It's still really hard, just in a different way than I thought.

I could really use that parenting book now...anyone ready to share?

Thankful it's Over.

Thanksgiving has passed and now we get slammed with Christmas in full force.

Which I happen to love.

Slam away world, slam away.

Here's my "weekend" in pictures:

1.

On Thanksgiving, I spent the day cooking away in the kitchen.

I'm pretty confident in my cooking abilities.

However, I know well enough that not all my ideas go according to plan.

There's always a surprise waiting for me.

 

This year, it was the sweet potatoes.

I don't like them.

Potatoes shouldn't be sweet.

Cake is sweet.

It's weird. Or maybe I am?

Nope. It's the potatoes.

So this was my first year actually buying a sweet potato.

I cooked those babies up in the oven to perfection.

Then I cut them open...

 

What. The. Heck.

I thought they were orange!

That's not orange!

WHAT DID I DO?!?

After some anxious research on Google, I discovered a new fact.

Turns out there are yellow sweet potatoes.

Interesting.

Still disgusting, by the way.

My table "before" the meal.

My table (and cranky-looking spouse) during the meal.

(He may look cranky, but that's just his resting-crabby face. I'm used to it.)

 

After shoving abnormal amounts of food into my belly, we played a few games.

Then we, regretfully, ate too much pie and spent the rest of the night groaning with a stomach ache.

(Maybe it was just me...)

 

Of course, the Elf on the Shelf came!

And brought with him his new Elf Pet!

Dumbest idea ever, Alfred!

The reindeer absorbs your magic while you cuddle it so it can help Santa propel his sleigh on Christmas Eve.

That's not creepy at all.

My kids now fight, on a daily basis, over who's magic gets absorbed.

Her name is Mistletoe.

Sounds so innocent for something so evil.

 

Friday was spent groaning over full bellies and trying to not eat anything Thanksgiving related.

(I was still full...bleh.)

 

Saturday, I had to decorate the church because Advent officially started on Sunday!

Took us about 3-4 hours total to get everything out of storage, ironed and put up.

Looks so cheerful now!

 

After all that, we ate dinner at Applebee's and realized that Declans cough was getting much worse.

We decided to take him to Urgent Care where we found out he has Pneumonia.

Great.

Then Morgan woke up at midnight barking like a seal.

Even better.

This is how our Sunday was spent.

 

On a good note, I managed to get the tree decorated:

Now, just to get the kids healthy so they can go back to school tomorrow.

I think I'm about to go insane from all this adorable family time.