Thursday, February 26, 2015

Spring Cleaning?

I had an entire to-do list drafted up last night, ready for today.

I had HUGE plans for this house today.

The bathrooms were going to get cleaned, the kitchen was supposed to be spotless and every single piece of laundry was going to get washed and put away.

You're probably wondering where this is going.

I didn't do any of that. Well, I started the laundry....just started.

This time, Netflix isn't to blame.

My kids rooms are.

Normally, I do NOT clean their rooms. They are responsible for their own crap/mess. However, about once a month, I get super annoyed with their level of "clean" and end up doing it all myself. And I really DO IT ALL. This time I even went under the beds, into closets and pulled out old toys to get rid of.

It only took me 4 hours.

4 HOURS of my life, gone.

I'm thinking out of those 4, 2 of those hours were dedicated to Lego's.

I've never hated Lego's more than I do right now. They are so damn tiny. You know how people say that "Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies"? Lego's are my herpes.

They were everywhere, in everything and, even after 4 hours of cleaning, I'M STILL FINDING THEM! WHY AM I STILL FINDING LEGO'S!!!!! WHO INVENTED CLEAR LEGO'S? WHY DO THEY EXIST! INVISIBLE BASTARDS ARE HIDING IN MY CARPET LIKE MILITARY SNIPERS IN THE DESERT! I USED TO LOVE PLAYING LEGO'S AND NOW THEY JUST PISS ME OFF!

There's a huge part of me that just about gave in and grabbed the vacuum cleaner to finish the job.

But Lego's cost a fortune. I can't justify it. We've taken the Lego's away before due to the mess they create with them. Unfortunately, it's the one toy that the kids play so quietly for so long...it's almost worth having them out. I need a special Lego room.

Once you walk inside, it locks you inside until someone releases you. And you have to walk through a chamber that will suck up the stray Lego's that may try to escape on your person. 

OK, now that my rant is over, let me show you some interesting things I found during my 4 hour adventure into the kids rooms today. Like I said before, I don't often clean their rooms. I'm working on trusting them to do it on their own now. Evan is 8. The twins are 4. Figure this crap out already.

 
I only took pictures of the boys room.
Morgan just had a ton of naked Barbie's and dress up clothes everywhere.
Most of my time was spent creating a new area for her dress up clothes.
And picking up Barbie shoes.
 
And this picture is actually showing you how I've started to organize it all.
You should have seen it before I made it in there.
 

 
This is the other side of their room.
 
Can you tell me what Spiderman is doing here?
Doesn't look good, does it?
Filthy Spiderman.
Or filthy Mom?


 
When I first saw this, I had no idea what it was.
Until after I touched it.

 
No more cuties for my kids.
Stupid tiny oranges.
Stupid sneaky children.
 
Ew.
Just, ew.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Fun with Photoshoots

There was a photo shoot that I participated in last September. It's taken some time for me to share the pictures with y'all, but now feels like a good time.

These aren't the published pictures that I shared on my site.

These are the, "I can't believe people let me do this" photos.

You know the ones I'm talking about...not every single picture taken captures our beauty to perfection.

What you are capturing is just ME in my full, amazing glory.

Although, to be more specific, this is NOT the photographers issue. I am at fault for all my facial expressions. I get goofy at times and this is what I wanted to show you. The photographers we worked with were all FANTASTIC and professional! I hope to do this again some day soon!

I should practice a bit more in the mirror before busting out with some of these facial expressions though.

A lot of this stems from what I've seen on Facebook and trying to incorporate it into my own photos.

Prepare yourself:

 
I was pretending that whatever I was working on was difficult.
In my head, my face was "cute".
In reality, it's just scary.
 

 
I was being goofy.
That's it.
Sometimes you need to take a break from smiling and thinking about your next pose.
 
 

 
This face is my "The sun is so BRIGHT!" face.
I get all crinkly in the brow when I'm blinded.
Sexy, right?
Being a pinup model is all glamour.

 
One of the photographers took a cute picture of my husband and I on this motorcycle for fun.
I do not look confident in my ability to sit on a motorcycle.
Not at all.
We almost fell off 3 times, due to my lack of balance.
 
Also, this dress has a small hole in the armpit.
I forgot.
It shows clearly in the good pictures we have.
That's what I get for wearing antique dresses and eating too many Snickers Bars.
 
This dress was a bad dress to wear that day.
It was a SUPER windy day and this dress was as light as a feather.
I wanted to tuck it into my thigh-highs.
 
Now that's a look to remember.
 

 
This one made me giggle a little.
I was checking me dress and making sure you couldn't see the body shaper I had on underneath.
When I sit down I get belly rolls.
More sexy images for you.
 
I was making sure my belly rolls weren't showing, OK?
Back off.


 
This was one of the good ones.
Just because the idea looked great in a magazine, doesn't mean you should try it.
Some people aren't meant for the upside-down look.
 
Plus, if you were on the other side of the car, you were getting one heck of a show here.
I didn't even think of that until after.
I was showing the world my treasure box and didn't even think of it.
 
And yes, I'm sticking with the term "treasure box".
Seems appropriate and cleaner than all the other terms I just came up with.
 
I do have LOTS of good pictures though!
 
There were amazing photographers there and it was an awesome day!
 
Go over to my Facebook page if you are interested in seeing the rest!
My computer is being a pain and won't let me load more pictures.
 
Here's a link for the lazy:
 

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Fear of Failure

My daughter has been going through an interesting phase lately.

It involves a lot of screaming, crying and the statement, "I can't do it!".

I usually come back with, "It's not too difficult, just TRY!"

It's seems so easy for me. Usually, it's that she can't pull her shirt over her own head, or zip up her jacket. She just gives up, throws herself down, and cries until someone helps her. I stand there and tell her over and over again, to just try again. It will get better if you keep trying. It will get easier over time.

Ridiculous behavior for something that's so simple.

Right?

Then why do I behave in similar fashion when it comes to my writing?

I sit here, watching the cursor blink at me, waiting for me to type out the words that have been shifting around in my head for days. Seems so easy. The words are there. My computer is working just fine. My fingers know how to type out the words that have been harassing me all week.

What's holding me back?

When I ask Morgan, mid-tantrum, "Why can't you do it?"

She tells me over and over again, "I'm too scared, Mommy!"

Scared? Of getting your head stuck in your shirt? Seriously?

And once again, I have to look in the mirror and ask myself, "What am I scared of? It's just a few words..."

Yet, here I sit, staring at a blank screen. I talk myself out of it. I convince myself that the words in my head are stupid. That I will sound like a crazy person. No one is interested in reading the words of a crazy person...

I write everything down, look at it all, convince myself it's awful and hit delete until all those words disappear. I've been sitting here, everyday, doing the same thing, over and over again.

I've always suffered from a lack of confidence. In everything I do. I don't feel like I'll be good enough. That everything I do, touch or get involved with, will somehow fail due to my lack of ability or knowledge.

Even if I do fail, why is that so bad? I tell my kids over and over, that failure is just a part of living. That we all must fail at something, so we learn how to pick ourselves up and try again. We learn from our mistakes. We work harder the next time. Or maybe that failure is telling us to try a different path.

Either way, it won't break us. It shouldn't make us scared to try again. I need to try again. I need to try. I need to shut down that part of my head that convinces me that I won't succeed. I am going to just go for it.

I am going to hit that publish button today.